Strangers
by Gabby D
Summary: Nathan ends up dragged into playing an online game by Neena, who for some reason decided that teaching him the basic wasn't her job, and ends up trying to understand all of it all by himself only to find out that he sucks at it. Then enters Wade, or CaptainDeadpool, an experienced player who really was just bored and took a liking out of Nathan. AU
1. Prologue

He didn't know how he ended up playing the damn game.

No, scratch that, he knew exactly how that happened. Neena had somehow convinced him despite it clearly not being his scene, bothering him about how it was boring to play alone and that she _would_ blackmail him if needed.

Then she went and left him playing alone anyway to "learn how to play before trying to catch up with her" since she "wasn't his babysitter".

Always nice to know he had such great friends.

He clicked to see his friends list, seeing that Neena— or rather, Domino, the level 79 rogue—was still offline. Nathan sighed.

His character, a level 18 paladin named CableS, was clearly played by a noob if Neena was to be believed. Nathan had no idea how to properly equip himself nor how to use the skills besides the few tips his friend had given him. Why was he even still trying was besides him. Probably the blackmail factor.

A notification warned him that the dungeon was ready.

 _Shit, he had no idea how to do this._

…

Wade cursed the healer for the tenth time before quitting and deciding to try and level one of his newest character, CaptainDeadpool— inspired by his main character, Deadpool™, and yes he's trademarking that shit, _dammit_ —a samurai who was still fairly weak if compared to most of his chars, also one of the few ones that are part of the blue team. He's usually a hardcore red, but hey, one must do what one must do.

The ones who call him unloyal have no idea how frustrating it is to only have a few customizable choices and races instead of all of them. He needs his artistic freedom, ok? It just didn't fit the aesthetic of the samurai he had in mind and also fuck you, Weasel, you don't understand art.

Anyway.

He was immediately accepted in a dungeon, one of his favorite parts of the game. Wade let out a pitying noise as he watched the tank struggle to do his job, his equip thrown together carelessly and he was probably button-smashing his way on fights. Besides the newbie, there was a healer who clearly spent some money on the game and another dps who judging by their name was either thirteen years old or a creeper. Maybe both.

That was going to be fun.

…

 _[_ _ **CableS**_ _died.]_

 **[Jizzmahboobz]:** Wth man?

 _[_ _ **CableS**_ _was resurrected by_ _**DrStrange**_ _.]_

 **[CableS]:** __ _I'm sorry, I'm new at this._

 **[Jizzmahboobz]:** no shit

 **[Jizzmahboobz]:** fcking noob

 _ ****_ _[_ _ **Jizzmahboobz**_ _left the dungeon.]_

…

Nathan sighed, asking himself again why the hell did he accept playing this game, before he heard a ping coming from it.

…

 _[_ _ **CaptainDeadpool**_ _invited you to private messaging.]  
_

 **[CableS]:** _?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** hey, sorry about the dickhead

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** you werent that bad really

 **[CableS]:** _Thank you, but I'm well aware that games aren't my specialty._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** saying the truth. we all gotta start somewhere

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and we did finish the dg

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** why play then?

 **[CableS]:** _That was mostly you and DrStrange._

 **[CableS]:** _And for a friend, but she left me to learn by myself._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** das cold

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** lemme guess, she told you to pick tank?

 **[CableS]:** _Yes._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** well then

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** want me to show you the ropes, cable-man?

… 

Wade smiled at his screen, pitying the dude. If he was being fair, had Bob and Weasel not started together with him he'd do the same as CableS's lady friend. Maybe even make them be a harder class, like healer.

"Pity," Wade whispered into the empty room, "that'd be fun."

Still, the dude seemed like a nice guy and it wouldn't hurt to give him a hand. _Show him the ropes,_ his mind provided and he immediately typed it down and sent it, giggling at the pun. Genius.

He already knew how he wants to spend his next few hours.


	2. Introductions Part 1

Nathan startled as his alarm ringed, just as he was getting ready to close the game, indicating it was six am and he should be getting ready to go to class. Had he really spent the whole night playing and talking with CaptainDeadpool? Christ.

What was he turning into?

He turned off his computer only to feel his energy dropping suddenly, his body heavy and mind slow. Nathan can't believe he really went without sleep. He forced himself to take a shower and wake up a little, getting ready to leave. He had no idea how he would deal with his classes in this state but he had to try, after all he had the perfect presence sheet.

He went out of his way to buy a coffee too expensive for it's taste just because, chugging good half of it on one go. When he did arrive at his class he was late and with a killer headache.

"Where the hell were you? You're never late," Neena asked, her tone showed nothing but Nathan knew her well enough to hear the concern there.

Nathan shrugged. "I, uh… spent the night playing. I didn't see the time until my alarm went off as I was about to go to sleep."

"You _what_?"

"I told you, I was playing the stupid game you told me to. Turns out dungeons can be very demanding, you should've told me. I thought I'd level up a little before going to bed."

"I can't believe this." Neena stared at him, shaking her head. "You really was playing AoW? What level are you now?"

"Thirty-four, I think."

" _How._ "

"I had some help," he answered shortly, not wanting to admit he was so pathetic someone took a pity out of him and helped. "Why did you make me pick tank anyway if it was such a hard class? You know I'm no good at games."

"It fits you," she answers easily, as if it wasn't important. "Are you being serious? Nathan Summers, soon to be lawyer, spent his night playing a mmorpg game that he called _stupid_. Oh, but how the tables have turned."

"It is stupid, and _you_ made me play it."

"Details."

"Small details are what define cases," Nathan replied immediately, "like the one we should be studying _right now_ instead of talking about my last night activities."

"I really can't imagine it, besides you know we have it all already, stop being so uptight." She handed him the papers anyway. "Give the poor sod that helped you my apologies if you ever talk with them again, it must've been painful to see you try to tank."

"You're only upset because you missed it, you made me pick tank on purpose."

"I never denied that."

"You're a bad friend," he stated, though it was far away from the truth.

Neena's smirk told him she knew. "And you believe too much in people. Terrible trait for a lawyer to have."

" _Defense_ lawyer."

"Still a lawyer, and notice how you didn't disagree with me?"

He started reading the paper out of spite, ignoring her and ending the conversation. The snort he heard made it clear Neena had taken it as a victory anyway. Sometimes he really hated his friends.

…

 _From: Irene M._

' _Did you really spend the whole night playing that idiotic game?'_

 _To: Irene M._

'Yes, now tell Neena to stop gossiping and pay attention to her classes.'

 _From: Irene M.  
'I didn't hear it from her.'_

 _To: Irene M._

'Oh god.'

 _From: Irene M._

' _Word flies. Now please tell me you're not becoming one of them.'_

 _From: Irene M:  
'Neena is insufferable enough.'_

 _To: Irene M._

'It was a one-time deal.'

 _From: Irene M._

' _Better be, Summers, or I'll make you go to sleep in time myself.'_

…

Nathan knew he had a problem when he spent the next two classes thinking about what missions—excuse him, _quests_ —he would do when he got home and if CaptainDeadpool would be online to accompany him again. _One-time deal his ass_ , the Neena in his head said.

Still, he paid attention the best he could and his notes were impeccable, even if his handwriting was a bit shaken. Nobody but the closest people to him noticed any difference and even then he could easily say it was just the headache. The lack of energy was barely bothering him, four cups of coffee later. Irene warned him about his health while Neena snorted and gave him a 'welcome to the club' slap on the arm. Then again Neena once mixed energy drink with coffee before a test and smiled like nothing was wrong so maybe he _should_ be careful.

Still, today's group study appointment was cancelled since Neena was called at work which means he'll have time to—no.

He will get home and he will study, maybe call his dad to check how he and Emma are doing, and he will _sleep_. Which is a thing he needs. All humans do.

Nathan will only play Age of Warcraft if, and only if, Neena asks him to. He has a _life_.

Three hours later as the game loaded he repeated the phrase like a mantra to himself, almost as if reprimanding himself for his lack of control. Though one hour couldn't hurt, could it? Just one dungeon.

Oh, who was he kidding; he was a lost case.

 _How the mighty have fallen._

…

As he finished his second dungeon in that evening—less pathetically than his first attempts, thankfully—CaptainDeadpool came online. Nathan tried to ignore it for ten whole minutes before giving it up and texting them.

Playing alone _was_ boring, after all. Neena wasn't lying when she said that.

He hoped he hadn't been too hopeless when he added them to his friends list; maybe it was an one time thing and he'd be bothering the samurai. Who would want to spend their free time teaching someone they didn't know when they could be playing with their friends?

Nathan ignored his doubts as he stared at his character and waited for an answer.

What was done was done and it couldn't hurt to try anyway. What was the worse they could do? Say no? Nathan would just proceed and play alone. Even if they were friendly yesterday and spent a night playing together, it didn't mean anything.

Nonetheless, he still hoped. Yesterday was _fun_.


	3. Introductions Part 2

Wade cooed disappointed as CableS said his goodbyes and logged off, after he managed to shape the guy into a semi-decent tank, at least for their level. Even if at the start it was a pity and boredom thing, the guy was _nice_. He was funny when he let his dry humor show and he didn't mind Wade's inane chatter—quite the opposite, in fact, he indulged him on it and never once asked him to shut up.

Though Wade guessed it was a bit different when it was via chatroom instead of in person.

He took CableS's absence as a reason to finally stop ignoring Bob's messages—the poor guy had been giving it a go for hours now—and called him for a party group when he changed characters.

…

 _[You invited_ _ **AgentOfHydra**_ _to private messaging.]_

 **[Deadpool]:** dg?

 **[AgentOfHydra]:** Where were you?!

 **[Deadpool]:** busy

 **[Deadpool]:** dont go all up on my bizz

 **[Deadpool]:** dg?

 **[AgentOfHydra]:** We have school in like one hour you know

 **[Deadpool]:** thats not a no

 **[AgentOfHydra]:** I'm failing chem!

 **[Deadpool]:** ill help you out then

 **[AgentOfHydra]:** You're also failing chem!

 **[Deadpool]:** touche

 **[Deadpool]:** then we get Weas to help us, chill

 **[Deadpool]:** dude always has the answers for the tests

 **[Deadpool]:** so, dg?

 **[AgentOfHydra]:** Ugh sure

 **[Deadpool]:** what was that?

 **[AgentOfHydra]:** Yes, sir

 **[Deadpool]:** good boy

 **[Deadpool]:** now lets kick some dragon asses

…

It was well late into the third period when Wade finally got to his High School, with Bob in town who had been roped into giving him a lift. Barely anyone looked twice at them, well used to Wade's antics, and the teacher only rolled his eyes and continued his lessons, muttering about not being late next time.

Somehow Wade's finger guns and wink—complete with a "Got it!"—didn't amuse him.

How boring.

"Do you think he's mad at us?" Bob whispered at him as they got seated in the back of the classroom, their usual place, and flinched as Wade's smile grew even bigger. "W-Wade?"

"Nah, man," he assured the other, "you know he loves me too much for that, my charm never fails on Mr. Goody-two-shoes. He's madly in love with me."

"If you say so…"

"He's probably just mad at you," Wade joked, laughing loudly when Bob yelped.

That didn't seem to amuse the teacher either, who turned to them with his 'I'm disappointed in you, son' face and stopped his class lecture. "Wilson! See me after class!"

"B-but Mr. Rogers, that's forbidden love!" Wade mockingly stuttered, making the whole class laugh and the teacher go red in the face.

"Wilson!"

Wade threw his hands in surrender, making a gesture he would be quiet… for the next thirty seconds, maybe. _Oh, well._

 _That's life._

When all his classes were finally done and Bob woke him up— _what? he needed to get his sleep somewhere_ —it was time to another round of 'Detention With Hot History Teacher'. Most people walked right past him except for Bob who gave him a sympathetic wince and Sandi, the girl who sits a few desks in front of him, who smiled sweetly. Not that he wasn't used to it, people ignoring him that is, most people did it; the scars and all. He knew he was a freak.

Mr. Rogers was waiting for him in all his golden boy perfection and his arms crossed, showing off his muscles even more. Who even allowed a history teacher to be hot anyway? Aren't they supposed to be all boring old men?

"You know why you're here," he says as soon as Wade walks into the room.

"Because otherwise you'd miss my charms and alluring voice?"

"This can't keep going, Wade." Mr. Rogers sighs and shakes his head slightly. "I'm not sure how you still haven't failed with how much you skip or come in late, it's a total mystery to me."

 _That's all Weasel_ , Wade didn't say, _he always hacked into the school system and gave them a hand whenever it was needed. And paid for, the mercenary._

"So is why your… _guardian_ never answers to any of our emails concerning your attitude and presence sheet. I know she cares, from the few parents conference she managed to show up, even with her… eccentricities and vocabulary."

 _Probably also Weasel._

"I don't know, maybe the blind old hag doesn't know how to check her emails. It's not like we got them fancy blind computers."

Mr. Rogers flinched at that, for some reason. "Still… you shouldn't drag Bob down with you and your tomfoolery, he's a good student even if not the brightest. I had hoped when you two started hanging together that he'd be good for you, but I see now that was a mistake."

 _Really? Tomfoolery?_ God, Mr. Rogers was lucky he was hot and built like a tank.

"Bob doesn't mind, he's a big boy who can pick his own choices and bad influences," Wade says nonchalant, "he's a good dog."

"Don't you mean friend?"

"That too, I guess." He shrugs. "Is that all?"

That seems to disencourage the teacher, who only sighs and goes to sit at his desk. Wade refuses to feel bad for disappointing him; he wasn't a _child._ "There's a questionnaire about today's class by your usual desk, I want you to answer it seriously and please, no graphic drawings this time. I don't care how accurate it is, I'm a history teacher for God's sake."

"But you also teach art!"

"Not to you, I don't. And please remove your hood."

Wade snickered at the other's defeated tone. "Your loss," he says even though he starts drawing a penis for an answer in the sheet. He never cared about following orders anyway.

It takes Mr. Rogers about ten minutes to notice what he's doing.

…

"Honey, I'm home!" he yells as he gets back from school and throws his bag on the couch, running up the stairs. _What a stereotype_ , he thinks to himself. "I'm going to my room to play, don't bother me unless it's about food! Or Golden Girls is on TV!" He thinks for a second. "Or both!"

Blind Al's distant voice comes from somewhere near the kitchen area. "At least do your homework before jacking off!"

"Fuck you, stop controlling my whacking habits you weirdo!"

"I will stop when you stop being so loud," she bites back, "you know I hear everything inside this house, dipshit!"

When Wade finally gets to his computer he's laughing at the banter, and he could swear he could hear a smile in the old woman's voice too. He and Blind Al really were a good duo, like Batman and Robin. Except Batman and Robin were gay for each other and in this case Robin is a blind geriatric black woman, but whatever. Little details.

Though that did raise questions.

"Are you in love with me, old hag?" he yells after a moment of silence.

The only answer he gets is an angry 'Go masturbate and leave me alone!', so he supposes the answer is yes, she is. He tells her that she's supposed to be his Alfred not his Robin, but she doesn't dignify him with an answer, the asshole.

He turns on his computer and clicks on AoW, his heart doing a funny jump as he notices CableS was online— _and yes he added the guy to his friends list, fuck off_ —but plays it cool and goes on as normal. The guy probably won't want anything to do with him anyway, he's probably playing with his lady friend. She's the whole reason he's playing after all.

 _Maybe she's his girlfriend_ , an unhelpful voice that he promptly shoo away adds. Who cares if she is, that's not his business.

It's probably better this way anyway, he had a thing with Weasel and Bob this afternoon.

He's totally not disappointed.

…

 _[_ _ **CableS**_ _invited you to private messaging.]  
_

 **[CableS]:** _Hi again._


	4. Chapter One

**[CableS]:** _Hi again._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** whatzzup

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ready for some more AoW 101 with your handsome teach wade?

 **[CableS]:** _And here I thought I'd only invite you to another dg and spend more time in your lovely company, yet I'm getting free classes again. How kind of you._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** aww im blushing

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** also lbr you cant afford me

 **[CableS]:** _Are you a teacher or a prostitute now? Regardless, even more reason for me to be thankful that you're taking time off of your surely busy schedule to teach me._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and dontcha ever forget it

 **[CableS]:** _Never._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** careful now, cable-man, or some will accuse you of sarcasm

 **[CableS]:** _I'm only half sarcastic, it is nice of you. And my name is Nathan._

 **[CableS]:** _You're Wade, right?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** das the name, yeah

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** nice to meet ya, cable-man

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** now are we gonna play or what?

 **[CableS]:** _After you._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and they say romances dead

…

Wade cursed as his phone keep buzzing and distracting him from the dungeon with CableS, making him almost die for the second time that die if it wasn't for the healer. What the fuck, since when is he such a popular guy. He picked it up and read the missed texts, noting he had seven missed calls from Weasel. Fuck.

 _From: Weaz  
'where the fuck are you, asshole'_

 _From: Weaz  
'answer me'_

 _From: Weaz  
'wade i swear to god'_

 _From: Bob the Dog  
'Wade? Did you forget we have raid today?'_

 _From: Weaz  
'i swear to fuck, wade, if youre sleeping i will let you fail chem'_

 _From: Weaz  
'answer your fucking phone'_

 _From: Bob the Dog  
'Are you ok?'_

Shit fuck. He looked at where CableS— Nathan, he'd said his name was— was questioning where he went on the screen. Wade could honor his compromise with his friends, like the trustworthy guy he is, or… he could continue playing with the Nate.

In the end it's easy to choose.

 _To: Weaz, Bob the Dog  
_ 'soz rain check on that raid im busy rn'

 _From: Weaz  
'WADE'_

…

 **[CableS]:** _Wade? Are you there?_

 **[CableS]:** _Did something happen, where are you?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yeah sorry ugh

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** my friends were bothering me apparently we had raid together today or some shit

 **[CableS]:** _Oh._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yea

 **[CableS]:** _You can go with your friends, I'll be fine. I think I figured this out anyway._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** what the hell nah buddy its ok

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** youre way cooler anyway

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i said id teach you didnt i, i never go back on my word

 **[CableS]:** _Didn't you just do that with your friends?_

 **[CableS]:** __ _Like just now?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** shhhh they dont count

 **[CableS]:** _Ah, I see._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** wanna try on a raid? if u got time

 **[CableS]:** _You're the teacher_

 **[CableS]:** _If you think I'm ready._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** youre not lol lets do it

 _..._

They were massacred, just like Wade knew they would.

He never had that much fun.

…

 _[_ _ **Tommy13**_ _invited you to private messaging.]_

 **[Tommy13]:** _WADE_

 **[Tommy13]:** __ _WHAT THE FUCK_

 **[Tommy13]:** _'raincheck', really?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** weaz?

 **[Tommy13]:** _no, your mom_

 **[Tommy13]:** _YES, ASSHOLE. IT'S ME._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** marios awfully rude wow

 **[Tommy13]:** _fuck off and come play with us_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** no can do

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** did you make a new char just to yell at me? that hurts weaz

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** that hurts real deep

 **[Tommy13]:** _no i just hacked the first blue dumbass i saw_

 **[Tommy13]:** _youre lucky it wasnt your new boyfriend_

 **[Tommy13]:** _whos cables_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** aww weasel i never knew you cared

 **[Tommy13]:** __ _i dont_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** just some guy im helping out

 **[Tommy13]:** _like parker was just some guy?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** shut up

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and no alright hes just a guy. i cant play today im helping him learn this shit

 **[Tommy13]:** _fine, whatever_

 **[Tommy13]:** _see what happens next time youre in trouble and need me_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** you say that but ur gonna help me anyway you know you will

 **[Tommy13]:** _i have no idea why i even talk to you anymore_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** bc you love me?

 _[_ _ **Tommy13**_ _has disconnected.]_

…

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** my friends are assholes

 **[CableS]:** _I'm sorry?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** not u

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** weasel just hacked some poor sod to come and yell at me for skipping on him, the dickhead

 **[CableS]:** _Weasel?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** my friend yeah god keep up with the program nate

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** __thats what we call him

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** hes mean

 **[CableS]:** _I wonder why._

 **[CableS]:** _Maybe because you call him Weasel?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** maybe.

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ur supposed to be on my team cable-man come on

 **[CableS]:** _Of course, how could I forget._

 **[CableS]:** _How dare the mean Weasel yell at you, even though you did nothing to deserve such violent response?_

 **[CableS]:** __ _Besides giving him that nickname and forgetting your plans together, mind._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** shut up its a childhood nickname ok he loves it

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and youre missing the point!

 **[CableS]:** _Sorry. Poor Wade._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yes poor me

 **[CableS]:** __ _That does seem like an overreaction though. He hacked someone?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yea he does that

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** computers are his thing

 **[CableS]:** _Couldn't he just call you? Or text?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** im not answering my phone also who calls anymore

 **[CableS]:** _I do._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** of course you do grandpa

 **[CableS]:** _I'm not old, it's just more practical sometimes._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** whatever ya say old man

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i should go play with them now thats cool with you?

 **[CableS]:** __ _Yes. I probably should study, anyway._

 **[CableS]:** _Same time tomorrow?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** cool sure

 **[CableS]:** _Goodbye, Wade_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** bye cable-man

 _[_ _ **CableS**_ _has disconnected.]_

 _Unsent:_ **[CaptainDeadpool]:** do u have skype or smth? so we can talk

 _Unsent:_ **[CaptainDeadpool]:** oh

 _..._

 _To: Weaz, Bob the Dog  
_ 'lets raid boys'

 _From: Bob the Dog  
'Wade!'_

 _From: Weaz  
'fucking finally!'_


	5. Chapter Two

Nathan laughed at his own computer screen as his new friend, Wade, went on a rant about what his friend had just done. Sure, he felt a little bad he interrupted Wade's plans with his friends, but the other didn't seem to mind it and well, they _did_ have fun together. The most fun Nathan had in a while now, really, as much as it hurt him to admit. The other was a little odd and not what Nathan's used to, but maybe that's exactly why he liked him so much— Wade's easy to talk to. It was refreshing.

Ok, maybe he was more than just a _little_ odd, but it was part of his charm.

And Nathan couldn't find it in him to regret any of it, even if he knew later he would struggle to stay awake. Hell, how was this his life now that he was starting to resent having to study because he'd rather be playing with Wade?

He'd never minded having work to do before. Always loved it, in fact; it kept his mind sharp, always having something to do. He had been called a workaholic many times, even by his own father. Nathan's need for a hobby was actually one of Neena's main arguments to convince him to play with her before she had to retort to threats of blackmail.

And yet here he was now: addicted to a stupid game.

Nathan didn't know whether to blame Neena, Wade or himself, for the abrupt change.

After they said their goodbye and Nathan finally managed to close the game— three hours after he said he'd do it, but at least it wasn't morning already like last time they did this— he wondered with a smile still on his face if tomorrow would be just as fun as today.

That would be for tomorrow to say though, for now it was time to sleep.

Study, he meant. Time to study.

Shit.

By the time Nathan got to finish his work— with the appropriate breaks for food and a shower, thank you very much, he hadn't forgotten how to take care of himself _that_ much yet— it was already way past nine and he could feel his movements drag with exhaustion. He picked up his phone, seeing a new message from an hour ago that he hadn't yet seen.

 _From: Neena  
'Little bird tells me you were playing AoW when you should've been studying'_

Jesus Christ, how did Neena even know that?

Nathan started to type out a reply, the bright glow of the screen making his headache slightly worse and his eyes squint but he knew best than to lower the brightness, lest he wanted to tire his eyes even more.

 _To: Neena  
_ 'You really should stop gossiping about me.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'How do you know that?'

The response didn't take long:

 _From: Neena  
'Aw Summers and where would be the fun in that'_

 _From: Neena  
'The game says when you were last online jsyk. I see someone ignored Merryweather's nap suggestion'_

 _From: Neena  
'Did you even do the work for our mock case?'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Of course I did, I just finished writing the opening for it.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Unlike some I don't just wait until the last minute and improvise.'

 _From: Neena  
'Attaboy'_

 _From: Neena  
'What can I say? It always works for me. I'm lucky like that'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'That's not luck.'

 _From: Neena  
'Whatever you say Summers'_

 _From: Neena  
'So what level are you on now? Do you want to play together for a bit?'_

Nathan paused at that, allowing himself to think about it even though he knows he really, really shouldn't.

But.

He hadn't played with Neena yet, not really— besides the first few quests as she gave him a quick tutorial and explanation of the game, pretty much all his game time had either been alone or with Wade. It could be fun. It was why he was even playing, after all.

Nathan wondered if Wade was still online right now.

Knowing him, it was likely. He didn't seem to have a problem yesterday with the hours, and he was obviously big on the game. Addicted, just as Nathan was starting to become. Maybe he could join them, help Nathan with the bits he knew Neena didn't have the patience to. She'd likely find him amusing, if she didn't try to bite his head off first— they would get along well.

Though... Wade would probably still be playing with his friends.

It didn't matter really, it was just an idea. Even if he _was_ online and for some reason agreed to play with them instead of his friends, Nathan was still too tired for any of this. He couldn't afford to lose track of time again.

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Another day. I have to go to bed now.'

 _From: Neena  
'Aw that's lame'_

 _From: Neena  
'Already? It's not even ten yet you're such an old man'_

Rude.

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Or maybe I just don't enjoy being sleep deprived. Since, you know, I haven't slept yet.'

 _From: Neena  
'Weak'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Goodnight, Neena.'

 _From: Neena  
'Night Grandpa'_

 _From: Neena  
'Try to not break a hip on your way to bed'_

 _..._

Doing the raid with Weasel and Bob went pretty much the same way it always did, with Wade and Weasel doing all the hard work and Bob's little rogue character struggling to keep up. Wade sometimes wondered why he even still allowed him to be in the Guild, but then he remembers that Bob always did most of his homework for him and hey, at least he was trying. Not everyone can be as good as Wade.

"What do you mean, doing all the hard work?" I carried it all by myself while you fucked about like you always do," Weasel complained, his detached voice sounding offended. What an asshole. "And I'm the Guild Leader, not you. I don't know why I keep either of you around."

Wade shrugged and waved his hand in dismissal, though he knew they couldn't see him.

"Details, details."

"I'm not that bad, am I?" asked Bob meekly, a bit distorted by the cheap microphone he owned.

An awkward pause, before they took pity on him.

"You're not _awful_."

"Aw, and you're getting better," Wade said, though he made sure his voice sounded condescending enough in that same puppy-voice he always used with Bob. "You killed some of those mobs practically alone, didn't you? Good boy, Bob. Good boy!"

That was a lie, but Bob didn't seem to care as he cheered up and thanked them anyway.

Though that gave him an idea… Would Nate like to be in the Guild? He was already almost as good as Bob, even being many levels below him and playing for way less time, and if he accepted Wade wouldn't have to choose who to play with— they'd been needing a tank, anyway. It all worked out. Though Nate was from the blue team, that complicated things a bit. Hmm.

"Who's Nate?"

"Shut up, Bob. Stop interrupting my internal monologue." Wade sighed dramatically. "God, you two are so rude."

Weasel snorted. "This is a skype call, you're saying all that outloud to us," he pointed out, which true. But still. "And is it that CableS guy?"

"Who?" Bob asked again, not shutting up like he should. Bad dog.

"Wade's new boyfriend," Weasel said before he could. "He was playing with him earlier."

"Wade has friends besides us?"

"I know, I was surprised too. It is him, isn't it?"

If he gave his computer screen the finger, would it still count or nah?

Wade did it anyway, just to be sure.

"No, shut up. I mean, yeah that's him but no, shut up. For all I know Nate's some bald guy in his forties trying to catch up with today's youth. He's just a guy, ok? A huge dork, but a cool dude. He's nicer to me than the two of you."

"Sure, right," Weasel replied sarcastically at the same time Bob chipped: "I'm nice to you, Wade!"

"Bob, you don't count."

"But you just said—!"

"Ignore him, Bob," Weasel interrupted. "He's just grumpy because he knows he's predictable. Wade, when you're in too deep and writing his name all over your notebook with little hearts around it, just don't say I didn't call it first."

"I would never do that, that's pathetic," he protested, blatantly ignoring Weasel's point. "How dare you. I'm not twelve years old."

"Aren't you, though? You laugh at fart jokes."

"You make them! If anything, we're _all_ twelve."

"Wade has a point," Bob said, probably feeling a little left out.

"Whatever. And anyway, I've seen your notebook. Just a while ago you'd still write 'Wade W. Parker' in almost every page."

Wade didn't try denying it. "When did you even saw my notebook?" he asked instead. "And that's irrelevant by the way, it's all in my past now. I've grown. I'm more mature now than ever. You wouldn't understand."

"That was a few weeks ago. And Bob showed me."

" _Weasel!_ "

"Et tu, Bob?" Wade whined with fake hurt all over his voice as Bob yelped on the other side of the call. "How could you?"

"I'm sorry! I am!"

"I see how it is now," he continued, ignoring the apologies. "I can't trust anyone anymore, in the end they all betray me. Oh but what a cruel world. My closest friends, just a bunch of weasels… Heh. Weasels."

"I didn't mean to, Wade! I swear, I needed help with a math question in your homework!"

"That's just an excuse and you know it, Bob."

"Oh, don't worry Wade, I'm sure you can still trust _Nate,_ " Weasel came to Bob's defense in the end, more to tease Wade than because he actually cared. "Why don't you just ask him to make a new character? Bring him to the red side of the force. I can add him to the Guild."

"What?" Wade asked, before he remembered what brought it all up in the first place. "Ah. Maybe. He's still new to the game though, not sure if he'd be up to it. It was just a thought. Nate's only even playing because of a friend and she's blue."

There were a few grunts and complaints about the blue team in the call at that, with Weasel going off with the usual team insults and talking about how Wade's new crush would be way better off trading to red. Wade would usually agree and join in on the rant but that'd probably be hypocritical of him now, blue character and all.

Besides, he took offense to that comment. He honestly didn't have a crush on Nate. They just met!Who knew if he wasn't just some old dude trying to attract kiddies online? But later though… who could say. Wade knew himself enough to not call it off already.

"Wouldn't hurt to ask," Bob said, cutting into Weasel's rant.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll think about it."

Shit, Weasel was right. He _was_ getting predictable.

...

The next day Nathan could almost feel like his past self; now with his energies restored and with it his capacity to pay attention fully to his classes, things slowly started to slot back into place. You'd almost think things went back to normal— if not for the fact that now he could finally follow Neena's conversations about the game and actually add in his own thoughts, much to their friend's dismay.

"Ugh, there's two of them now," Irene moaned in distress, once she'd finally picked up enough to realize that their passionate discussion wasn't, in fact, about something law-related. "How did you even convince him to play?"

"Blackmail," added both he and Neena at the same time, making the journalism student snort unamused.

"I thought you said it was an one-time deal?"

"Turns out the game is a lot more entertaining than I'd first thought," Nathan said. "It's not a bad activity to do when one is bored."

The answer only made Irene glare at him, before she sighed. "Well, at least you slept last night. But I still think it's childish."

It wasn't so much that Nathan had slept and more that he passed out almost instantly after hitting the bed last night actually, but he chose not to tell his friends that. It would only make things worse for himself. You need to know how to pick your battles.

"Aw Irene, I think it's nice," said Samuel from the other side of the table with a grin, the drawl of his words making his southern accent stand out. "The fella needed a hobby. All work and no play ain't fun for anyone, y'know that."

"You're one to talk!"

"Hey now, don't be like that. I don't play it," he defended himself. "MMORPG ain't my style."

Irene groaned, asking if that had even been english which just resulted in another rant from her— though Nathan admits he found himself tuning out to their conversation with a fond smile and shake of head. He could get used to this, the new liveliness of his routine.

It was… nice.

"Do you think we could get her to play with us one day?" Neena asked him in a stage-whisper after things finally calmed down, making Nathan laugh out loud in surprise as there was another outburst from the rest of the table.

Yes, he really could get used to this.

...

 _[_ _ **CaptainDeadpool**_ _invited you to private messaging.]_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** heyo cable-man

 **[CableS]:** _Hello, Wade._

 **[CableS]:** _How was the raid yesterday with your friends? Better than our attempt at it, I hope._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** aw man dont talk like that, we did good

 **[CableS]:** _We really didn't._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and it was fun

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i basically carried them all tho even more weasel

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** just dont tell him i told you that

 **[CableS]:** _You have my word._

 **[CableS]:** _And_ _I wouldn't doubt it, I've seen you play. You're good._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** nate you big flirt you flatter me

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** but thats true i am

 **[CableS]:** _Humble too._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and dont you forget it

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** so

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** quests or dg? pick your poison my dear student

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** or do you want to try doing raid again

 **[CableS]:** _Raids are fun, I think I'm getting the hang of it already._

 **[CableS]:** _Unless you'd rather do another dungeon?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** raid it is then

 **[CableS]:** _You don't have any plans with your friends today?_

 _[_ _ **CaptainDeadpool**_ _has invited you to a party.]_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** nah dont worry

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** im all yours today

 **[CableS]:** _Ah, that's good._

 **[CableS]:** _Wouldn't want to interrupt again. I'm sure Weasel wouldn't be so forgiving._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** weaz is a big boy he can handle it

 **[CableS]:** _He hacked someone._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** he can be dramatic

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and he has bob to play with him so he wont get lonely

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** youre safe

 **[CableS]:** _Glad to hear._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** id rather play with you anyway

 **[CableS]:** _Oh_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i mean

 **[CableS]:** _The feeling's mutual._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** really?

 **[CableS]:** _Yes._

 **[CableS]:** _I enjoy playing with you._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** lol das what she said ;)

 **[CableS]:** _Wow._

 _[Your group is ready to play.]_

 **[CableS]:** _Come on, the raid is ready. I've been waiting to play all day._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** why do i feel like i created a monster

 **[CableS]:** _Because you did._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and i take full responsibility for that

 **[CableS]:** _You're a terrible influence._

 **[CableS]:** _I'll let you know I was an upstanding student before this._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** im a great influence excuse you

 **[CableS]:** _Would Weasel agree with that?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** weasel is a liar and a drama queen and his opinion matters not

 **[CableS]:** _Of course._

 **[CableS]:** _I'll tell him you said that._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** YOU WOULDNT

 **[CableS]:** _:-)_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** omg

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** a nose

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** why areyou such a dork

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** lets just play before you embarrass yourself even more old man

 **[CableS]:** _:-(_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** dork

...

 _[_ _ **CableS**_ _died.]_

 **[CableS]:** _Nevermind, I hate this._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** this bring back so many memories aww

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** lil noob nate still button smashing his way through a boss fight

 **[CableS]:** _I hate you too._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** S2

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** no u dont

...

 **[CableS]:** _Why am I even still doing this?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** what was it that u said

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** bcyou enjoy playing with me

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** wink wink

 **[CableS]:** _I have no memory of saying such thing._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** you think im funnnn

 **[CableS]:** _Do I?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** you think im the best player youve ever met~

 **[CableS]:** _Now that's a stretch._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** face it nate

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** only besties kill bosses together

 _[_ _ **CableS**_ _has resurrected.]_

 **[CableS]:** _Then let's kick some ass._

 _..._

 _[The Boss has been defeated.]_

 **[CableS]:** _Finally._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** what did i tell you cable-man?

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** best. friends.

 **[CableS]:** _I suppose it wasn't so bad now._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** told ya ;)

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** can i tell you a little secret natey?

 **[CableS]:** _What?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i like playing with you too

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** youre fun

 **[CableS]:** _That's what she said._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** SUCH A DORK


	6. Chapter Three

_From: Weaz  
'so do you want to play a little while bobs with his girlfriend?'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'no'

 _From: Weaz  
'why? it says youre online right now on aow'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'dont believe in everything you see on the internet'

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'im in the middle of a dg ok go away'

 _From: Weaz  
'youre playing with cables'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'yes im playing with nate'

 _From: Weaz  
'hmm.'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'fuck right off'

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'thought you didnt care?'

 _From: Weaz  
'i dont'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'good then go jack off or something and leave me alone'

 _From: Weaz  
'ask him about the guild'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'no'

 _From: Weaz  
'why?'_

 _From: Weaz  
'wade?'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'fuck offffff im playing'

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'and because youre an asshole thats why'

 _From: Weaz  
'and? so are you'_

 _From: Weaz  
'im sure he wont care, if hes friends with you'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'doesnt matter'

 _From: Weaz  
'why not?'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
'why are you even asking?'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'im your friend'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'HAH'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'im touched weaz, there are tears in my eyes'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'and because we need a new tank and i trust you to shape him into a somewhat decent one'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'there we go now thats the weasel i know and love'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'now spill'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'wade'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'dont make me hack some random noob again because i will'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'jesus christ dude hang the fuck on'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'ugh'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'there now we can talk, you dick'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'good now tell me why you wont ask him to join us'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'idk'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'i mean why would he even say yes'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'because you asked?'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'yeah but'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'are you seriously that scared of him saying no jfc'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'maybe'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'i like him ok hes an alright dude'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'and idk we are only even playing together bc his friend dropped him like a hot potato and i took pity on him'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'if he joins the guild its official, that means hell stick around more'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'but why would he if he can play with his friend yknow?'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'oh my fucking god'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'wade that makes no sense'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'shut up'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'how are you this ridiculous'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'youre not asking him to marry you just to join a goddamn guild it benefits him too'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'stop being a pussy and just ask the dude'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'he wont say no'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'ok first of all thats sexist why is being a pussy something negative? pussy is great'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'seriously wade'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'second of all ive known him for like less than a week'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'and youve played nonstop with him that entire time. ask him.'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'also being a dick is also negative'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'true'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'ugh stop making sense'

…

 _[_ _ **Domino**_ _has invited you to private messaging.]_

 **[Domino]:** I see you're catching up to me quickly

 **[CableS]:** _Wade is a good teacher. Unlike someone I know._

 **[CableS]:** _Hey, Neena._

 **[Domino]:** Wade?

 **[CableS]:** _CaptainDeadpool. A samurai level 61._

 **[Domino]:** I see. Was he the one helping you the other day?

 **[CableS]:** _Yes._

 **[Domino]:** Well do you want to play now? I'm bored

 **[Domino]:** I don't think we can do a dg together yet but we can probably do some quests or something

 **[CableS]:** _Sure, let me ask Wade._

 **[CableS]:** _We just finished a dungeon together._

 **[Domino]:** Look at you being all pro already

 **[Domino]:** I couldn't be prouder

 **[CableS]:** _Screw you._

 **[CableS]:** _I admit the game isn't as bad as I thought._

 **[CableS]:** _It's very addictive though._

 **[Domino]:** Now you know my struggle

 **[Domino]:** Hit me up after you get your answer

…

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'wade'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'if hes endured you for this long he wont run away now. seriously. just ask him.'_

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'ill even help him level up too if he agrees'_

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'well fuck you too'

 _To: Nosy Asshole  
_ 'alright but if he says no…'

 _From: Nosy Asshole  
'then youre welcome to cry for a week and eat all of bobs ice cream'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'you got yourself a deal'

…

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** sooo

 **[CableS]:** _Have you finished talking with Weasel?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yeah we talked a bit

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** sorry i kept getting distracted in the middle of the dg

 **[CableS]:** _It's alright._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i wanted to ask you something actually

 **[CableS]:** _My friend just logged and asked me to play with her._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** oh

 **[CableS]:** _Apparently we can do some quests together already, so that's nice._

 **[CableS]:** _You can come too, of course. She doesn't mind._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** no yea go ahead shes your lady friend

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** go play with her

 **[CableS]:** _Are you sure?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** of course, shes the reason youre playing right?

 **[CableS]:** _Yeah._

 **[CableS]:** _Wait, you're not coming with us?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** nah man dont worry about it

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i have some stuff to do with weaz anyway its cool

 **[CableS]:** _I thought you said you didn't have plans today._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i forgot

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** it happens a lot you better start getting used to it i got the memory of a goldfish sometimes

 **[CableS]:** _I see._

 **[CableS]:** _If you're sure about it?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yeah totes

 **[CableS]:** _Alright._

 **[CableS]:** _What did you want to ask me?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** what

 **[CableS]:** _Sorry, our messages sent at the same time and I got distracted._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ah

 **[CableS]:** _What was it?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** nothing

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i mean

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** its not important or anything

 **[CableS]:** _Just ask me, Wade._

 **[CableS]:** _Wade?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** do you have skype? idk. so we could talk

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i mean we are talking now but yknow what i mean outside of aow

 **[CableS]:** _Oh._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** its cool if you dont

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** or if you dont want to share it w me

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i get it man we just met so like no offense taken

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** you know what just ignore me most people do

 **[CableS]:** _NathanCSummers_

 **[CableS]:** _I don't use it much though, but it's always open on my computer so you can text me whenever._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** cool

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** cool cool cool

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ill add you

 **[CableS]:** _Is that what you wanted to ask me?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** totally yeah

 **[CableS]:** _You could've just said._

 **[CableS]:** _Were you nervous?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** what no way man why would i be

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** you should know me better than that cable-man im never nervous

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i know no fear

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** its both a curse and a blessing

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** now cmon dude dont leave the lady waiting

 **[CableS]:** _Of course._

 **[CableS]:** _Will you be leaving now?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yeah lots of stuff to do you know how it is

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** im a popular guy

 **[CableS]:** _I'm sure you are._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** is that sarcasm

 **[CableS]:** _Why, never._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** das cold nate i thought we were friends

 **[CableS]:** _And I thought we were besties?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** HAH

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** so you admit it

 **[CableS]:** _I never denied it._

 **[CableS]:** _We did kill that boss together, after all._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** anyway

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** adieu nate

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** try to not miss me too much while im gone

 **[CableS]:** _Bye, Wade._

 _[_ _ **CaptainDeadpool**_ _has disconnected.]_

 _Unsent:_ **[CableS]:** _I'll try not to._

…

 _From: Weaz  
'so will he be joining the guild?'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'no :('

 _From: Weaz  
'shit.'_

…

 **[Domino]:** So are you coming?

 **[CableS]:** _Yes._

 **[Domino]:** And your samurai friend?

 **[CableS]:** _No, he won't join us._

 **[CableS]:** _Wade had something else to do today._

 _[_ _ **Domino**_ _has invited you to a party.]_

 **[Domino]:** Alright then

 **[Domino]:** Shame, I wanted to meet the guy

 **[Domino]:** Well let's get going what quest do you want to do first?

…

 _From: Weaz  
'really? why the hell not'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'because i didnt ask'

 _From: Weaz  
'WADE'_

 _From: Weaz  
'goddammit wade why not'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'his friend logged on ok'

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'he went to play with her and i chickened out'

 _From: Weaz  
'well shit'_

 _From: Weaz  
'ice cream it is then?'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'i managed to get his skype before he went tho so theres that'

 _From: Weaz  
'good for fucking you'_

 _From: Weaz  
'we still need a tank'_

 _From: Weaz  
'is that a yes or a no for the ice cream though?'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'its a hell yes please'

 _From: Weaz  
'ill text bob and let him know we're dropping by to raid his fridge'_

 _From: Weaz  
'i think his girlfriend might still be there'_

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'nah'

 _To: Weaz  
_ 'let it be a surprise'


	7. Chapter Four

_[_ _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ _would like to add you on Skype.]_

(7:19 PM):  
hey natey this is wade

(7:19 PM):  
you said i could add u so here it is

(7:20 PM):  
now we can talk or whatever outside of aow if you want to

(7:24 PM):  
if not and u changed ur mind thats cool too

(7:24 PM):  
i get it

(7:46 PM):  
 _Hey, Wade. I guessed it was you._

(7:47 PM):  
 _I accepted the request by the way. Sorry for the late answer, I was finishing a quest._

(7:49 PM):  
its all cool cable-man ive been there

(7:49 PM):  
ill forgive you this time

(7:50 PM):  
 _Oh thank god, how would I live with myself otherwise?_

(7:52 PM):  
miserably and choking on guilt im sure

(7:52 PM):  
 _But of course._

(7:58 PM):  
hope it wasnt too boring doing quests without me

(7:58 PM):  
i know my presence is the highlight of your day and all that jazz

(8:01 PM):  
 _I'll admit I missed you today._

(8:05 PM):  
oh?

(8:01 PM):  
 _Of course, I got used to your commentaries during quests._

(8:01 PM):  
 _It almost felt too quiet without it._

(8:12 PM):  
 _Wade?_

(8:13 PM):  
awwwwwwwww nate you flatter me

(8:13 PM):  
thats the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me

(8:14 PM):  
 _What would I do without my favorite teacher?_

(8:16 PM):  
honestly youd be fine without be

(8:16 PM):  
you wouldve figured the game out by now on your own im sure

(8:17 PM):  
youre a smart boy cable-man you got the hang of it quicker than i did when i started

(8:18 PM):  
though lbr actual gameplay wasnt my real focus then

(8:20 PM):  
 _I had your help._

(8:21 PM):  
 _What did you do then if not gameplay?_

(8:21 PM):  
mostly dancing naked around towns with weaz and bob

(8:21 PM):  
fun times lol

(8:24 PM):  
 _?_

(8:25 PM):  
 _I feel like I'll regret asking but what?_

(8:26 PM):  
OMG

(8:26 PM):  
DID I NOT TEACH YOU ABOUT THE ART OF NAKED DANCING

(8:26 PM):  
have i failed you this much as a teacher?

(8:28 PM):  
 _I didn't even know it was something possible in this game._

(8:29 PM):  
 _Why the hell is that even something you can do?_

(8:31 PM):  
im a sham

(8:31 PM):  
a terrible friend and mentor

(8:32 PM):  
how could i forget the most important thing about the aow experience

(8:34 PM):  
 _… Naked dancing?_

(8:34 PM):  
NAKED DANCING

(8:35 PM):  
 _The more I talk to you the more I worry that you're secretly twelve years old._

(8:37 PM):  
how dare you cable-man

(8:37 PM):  
id be at least 13 give me some credit here

(8:38 PM):  
 _Of course, my apologies. You're absolutely right._

(8:39 PM):  
 _Practically a young man already._

(8:39 PM):  
damn right i am

(8:40 PM):  
no but dont worry

(8:40 PM):  
im legal ;)

(8:42 PM):  
 _Glad to hear._

(8:43 PM):  
worried were you nate?

(8:43 PM):  
naughty

(8:46 PM):  
 _That a twelve years old pitied me enough to teach me how to play? Yes, I'll admit part of me was._

(8:47 PM):  
 _It's good to know that at least I wasn't THAT bad._

(8:47 PM):  
 _I do have some pride, you know._

(8:49 PM):  
 _And it would explain your skype picture._

(8:50 PM):  
13 thank you very much

(8:51 PM):  
and you dont even have a pic you cant judge me. mlp is a classic.

(8:52 PM):  
awww dont worry, you were still better than bob

(8:53 PM):  
and i mean him now

(8:55 PM):  
 _Thirteen years old, yes. Sorry._

(8:56 PM):  
 _He can't possibly be that bad._

(8:56 PM):  
he really really is

(8:57 PM):  
 _I had no idea what I was even doing then._

(8:58 PM):  
neither does he tbh

(8:58 PM):  
he really tries tho bless his heart

(8:59 PM):  
bobs a good puppy even if he sucks at aow so its okay

(9:00 PM):  
 _Sometimes I wonder why he's even friends with you._

(9:02 PM):  
cuz im the best and everyone loves me

(9:03 PM):  
and we go to school together

(9:04 PM):  
 _Ah, I see._

(9:04 PM):  
 _So he's stuck with you._

(9:04 PM):  
that too

(9:05 PM):  
 _It all makes sense now._

(9:07 PM):  
thats mean

(9:08 PM):  
youre my friend too whats your excuse

(9:08 PM):  
 _I'm using you for your gaming skills and narration._

(9:09 PM):  
 _It was all part of my plan._

(9:09 PM):  
MEAN

(9:10 PM):  
i knew it was too good to be true

(9:10 PM):  
thats it im divorcing you

(9:11 PM):  
 _Oh, no._

(9:11 PM):  
oh yes

(9:12 PM):  
its all over cable-man

(9:14 PM):  
 _I didn't even know we were married._

(9:16 PM):  
its a best buddies divorce

(9:17 PM):  
 _Of course, makes sense now._

(9:17 PM):  
say goodbye to half of your items and xp

(9:18 PM):  
im calling my lawyer as we speak

(9:20 PM):  
 _Only if I can keep the pet we got together in that last raid._

(9:21 PM):  
 _I'm quite fond of him._

(9:22 PM):  
NEVER

(9:22 PM):  
SAY GOODBYE TO MISTER FLUFFYBUTT

(9:23 PM):  
hes my pet dragon now

(9:24 PM):  
 _I suppose I'll see you in court, then._

(9:25 PM):  
 _May the best lawyer win._

(9:27 PM):  
 _I'll convince the judge to give me all your rare weapons and mounts._

(9:28 PM):  
gasp

(9:28 PM):  
you wouldnt dare!

(9:29 PM):  
 _Wouldn't I?_

(9:30 PM):  
 _Your mistake in going to court against a lawyer._

(9:32 PM):  
wait what

(9:32 PM):  
 _Hm?_

(9:33 PM):  
youre a lawyer?

(9:33 PM):  
since when

(9:34 PM):  
 _Well not yet, no._

(9:35 PM):  
 _But I'm studying to be one._

(9:36 PM):  
 _I'm still in the first year of law school._

(9:36 PM):  
oh

(9:36 PM):  
holy shit

(9:37 PM):  
thats so unfair why didnt you tell me before

(9:38 PM):  
now im screwed in our divorce

(9:39 PM):  
 _If you want, I can ask Neena to be your lawyer._

(9:40 PM):  
 _I'm sure she'll be happy with being paid in aow items._

(9:40 PM):  
is that your lady friend

(9:41 PM):  
 _The one that blackmailed me into playing, yes._

(9:42 PM):  
atta girl

(9:42 PM):  
is she better than you?

(9:43 PM):  
 _Not better, no._

(9:44 PM):  
 _We both each have our strong points and weaknesses._

(9:45 PM):  
thats bullshit speak for yes

(9:47 PM):  
 _She'll like you._

(9:48 PM):  
everyone likes me didnt you know

(9:49 PM):  
is she still online?

(9:51 PM):  
 _No, she left a while ago._

(9:51 PM):  
 _She wanted to meet you though._

(9:52 PM):  
 _Have we really been speaking for three hours now?_

(9:53 PM):  
time flies when youre having fun and getting a divorce

(9:54 PM):  
and we werent even playing this time

(9:55 PM):  
 _It really does._

(9:56 PM):  
 _God, I can't believe I just spent this much time just talking._

(9:56 PM):  
would you rather we were doing something else? ;)

(9:57 PM):  
 _Not really. I had fun._

(9:59 PM):  
 _It's always nice to talk with you, Wade._

(9:59 PM):  
 _Even if we're divorced._

(9:59 PM):  
god look at you being all genuine and shit

(10:00 PM):  
you ruined my innuendo

(10:00 PM):  
ugh

(10:02 PM):  
same though

(10:03 PM):  
its fun talking with you too cable-man even if you can be a butt and abandoned me for your girlfriend

(10:04 PM):  
wait shit i didnt mean that

(10:04 PM):  
your lady friend**

(10:05 PM):  
its none of my bizz if shes your girlfriend or not its all cool

(10:07 PM):  
shit

(10:15 PM):  
 _Really, Wade? A butt?_

(10:15 PM):  
the buttiest of butts

(10:16 PM):  
 _Now that's hurtful._

(10:17 PM):  
 _I can't believe you'd say that._

(10:19 PM):  
the truth hurts nate

(10:20 PM):  
 _Divorce changed you, Wade._

(10:21 PM):  
 _I can barely recognize you now._

(10:21 PM):  
 _And I did invite you to play with us. It would've been more fun with you there._

(10:23 PM):  
nah its all cool i had the thing with weaz and bob

(10:23 PM):  
sorry

(10:24 PM):  
 _It's fine._

(10:25 PM):  
 _She's my ex, actually._

(10:25 PM):  
oh?

(10:26 PM):  
 _But we're better as just friends now._

(10:28 PM):  
messy breakup huh?

(10:28 PM):  
 _Yes, actually._

(10:29 PM):  
 _It was an on and off thing that lasted a while and was exhaustive for everyone involved._

(10:29 PM):  
 _But that was a few years ago._

(10:30 PM):  
 _She's one of my best friends now and I'm glad to have her._

(10:32 PM):  
ah i feel you

(10:33 PM):  
bobs the same with his girlfriend

(10:33 PM):  
id say i love the drama but god is it tiring even for me

(10:34 PM):  
i still keep my popcorn near tho you never know when shit will hit the fan again

(10:35 PM):  
their fights are explosive

(10:35 PM):  
 _I'm surprised Bob even has a girlfriend._

(10:36 PM):  
i know right? no idea how that happened

(10:37 PM):  
she keeps dumping him then two days later theyre back at it again

(10:38 PM):  
 _Poor Bob._

(10:39 PM):  
 _Everyday I pity him more and more._

(10:40 PM):  
hes good at the pity thing yeah

(10:40 PM):  
im actually at his house rn with weaz we are raiding his fridge

(10:41 PM):  
i crashed his date with allison lol

(10:42 PM):  
boy she was not happy about that

(10:44 PM):  
 _I wonder why they fight so much._

(10:45 PM):  
i have no idea either

(10:47 PM):  
 _Wow._

(10:48 PM):  
 _Aren't they upset you're talking with me right now?_

(10:48 PM):  
nah they dont really care

(10:49 PM):  
i stole bobs pc to talk with you while they watch a shitty movie together

(10:49 PM):  
im letting them have some peace without my commentaries

(10:51 PM):  
 _If you're sure._

(10:51 PM):  
 _What movie?_

(10:52 PM):  
the proposal

(10:53 PM):  
i may or may not know all the lines lol

(10:55 PM):  
 _Hm._

(10:57 PM):  
you know it?

(10:57 PM):  
 _Maybe._

(10:58 PM):  
you love it dont you?

(11:02 PM):  
OMG YOU DO

(11:04 PM):  
admit it its your favorite movie isnt it

(11:05 PM):  
 _No comments._

(11:06 PM):  
 _You have no proof to support your claims._

(11:06 PM):  
i dont need any i know the truth already

(11:07 PM):  
you love shitty romcomssssss

(11:08 PM):  
cute

(11:10 PM):  
 _Aren't you the one that knows all the lines?_

(11:12 PM):  
so?

(11:13 PM):  
i have no shame you should know that already

(11:13 PM):  
i love cheesy movies

(11:14 PM):  
 _It's not that bad, really._

(11:15 PM): _  
It's a good movie._

(11:17 PM):  
it really isnt

(11:20 PM):  
 _I should probably be going to bed now, it's getting late._

(11:21 PM):  
 _We've been talking for a while now._

(11:21 PM):  
 _Good night, Wade._

(11:22 PM):  
you cant run from the truth nate

(11:23 PM):  
god youre such a grandpa its not even midnight

(11:23 PM):  
aright

(11:24 PM):  
gnight natey boy

(11:25 PM):  
 _I had fun divorcing you today._

(11:26 PM):  
well that sounded naughty

(11:26 PM):  
 _;-)_

(11:27 PM):  
fuck the nose alone is grounds for a divorce

(11:28 PM):  
sweet dreams, nate

(11:28 PM):  
with me in it of course

(11:29 PM):  
 _Always._

(11:30 PM):  
 _Sweet dreams, Wade._


	8. Chapter Five

"And it turns out she's his ex, not his girlfriend, which like cool, whatever, not like I _care_ you know, but it's good to know. Not that I was worried or anything, because I wasn't," Wade rambled on, only half-aware of his words as he focused on shooting zombies in the screen in front of him. "I wasn't, I don't care. I wasn't upset that he chose to play with her the other day."

A loud whoop as he managed a triple headshot, receiving a mindless 'nice' from his friends.

"And we talked on skype, which was nice. Kinda made up for it too anyway. We're cool now. So yeah. Totes whatevs."

In the screen, his character's cheering was interrupted as a giant mutated zombie sprinted past him and jumped on Bob, throwing his character around like a rag doll before either Wade or Weasel could manage to take it down. Shit. Bob though, the good sport, barely sighed in frustration at his death - too used to even complain. He was, after all, their bait.

Not that he knows that.

So instead he used his death to answer to Wade's nonsensical rant. "Wait, but I thought you _didn't_ have a crush on this guy?"

"I _don't,_ that's whyI don't care!" Wade protested, faux-offended. He glared at Bob's skype picture - he and his girlfriend wearing matching green sweaters, eurgh - as if the other could feel his wrath through the screen. "God, Bob, it's like you weren't even listening to me."

"I really wasn't, actually. I was trying to stay alive. You know, like you two told me to."

Wade ignored his reasoning. "Well, that's just fucking rude."

Though most of his bite was diminished by the snicker Wade let out seconds after as his character tea-bagged Bob's thrown about corpse and danced on top of him. What? It was almost a tradition by now. A rule, really.

"You know I'm not good with shooters, Wade! I don't know why you two still force me to play with you. I always die."

 _That's the point,_ Wade didn't point out. Instead he continued on as if he hadn't heard anything, gleefully ignoring Bob's complaint.

"And as I was saying, before you rudely interrupted me," he said."Me and Nate are cool, we're playing together like normal and he hasn't abandoned me, and his lady friend is just that, a lady friend who used to be more but not anymore. It all ended well."

"Wade, I swear to fucking christ, if you're talking about your boyfriend's not-girlfriend again I _will_ destroy your voltron collection and you know Al will let me in, she likes me," threatened Weasel like the rude motherfucker he is, though his voice was almost drowned out by the sounds of gunshots. "It's been two days! Let it go! And Bob, don't encourage him. You were there."

"Is that why he ate all my ice cream?! I had to spend all night apologizing to Allison! She's still angry at me!"

Bob was ignored. Again.

"Okay, just so you know 1) Al only likes you because you sold her weed that one time, so get off your high horse," he said, pausing dramatically as his character creeped behind Weasel's and planted a pipe bomb, "and B) he's not my boyfriend."

The other snorted. "Yeah, sure, and Bob's not—"

Two seconds later, there was a loud bang and the sound of Weasel cursing, and Wade mentally gave himself one point for that.

"We're on the same team, jackass!"

"Relaaaaax, Elsa, I can still win this shit. I'm not incompetent like Bob. I'm almost at the safe room already."

And true to his words, soon enough Wade found the checkpoint and finished the level without any major issues - though the game did warn him about dead teammates and showed a passive-aggressive message about friendly-fire and being careful with it next time.

Hah, as if.

"Seriously, what crawled up your ass and died?" Weasel asked, not letting it go. "I thought you'd be happy now that you have no reason to be jealous anymore. She's not his girlfriend, hurrah, now you can go suck his cock and ask him to be part of our Guild."

"There is so much wrong with that phrase that I don't even know where to start—"

"No, for real, what's your problem now?"

Wade stopped, staring at his friends' pictures on skype as he tried to come up with something to say. Truth is, he really didn't know. He didn't know what was bothering him, nor why he was overthinking everything with Nathan now when he was supposed to be relieved. Not that he was jealous before, because he wasn't.

"Wade?" Bob asked after he'd been silent for a while, sounding worried.

"There's no problem, Weaz," he ended up saying, though by the groan on the other side of the call his forced casualness didn't work. As it usually didn't, with Weasel; he knew Wade too well to fall for his bullshit. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm peachy."

"Right, and denial is just a river in Egypt."

"Actually—"

"Shut up, Bob. You know what I think? That now that you know he's not leaving and that he actually wants to be friends with you, you're panicking," Weasel said, not pulling his punches. "You're not just scared of him saying no, Wade. You're scared of him saying yes too. Because then he'll get to know you, and you're afraid you'll scare him off. Which is stupid and I've told you that before."

Wade closed his eyes, cursing Weasel's sudden interest.

Why wasn't anyone allowed to be in denial anymore? Burying shit deep down and ignoring it until everything exploded in his face always worked just fine for Wade. Well, sort of. Not really. But it always did kind of work out in the end. And anyway, wasn't society _supposed_ to want that men ignore their feelings and shit because of all the toxic masculinity pushed into people at young age by the patriarchy?

Way to leave a guy confused.

"Weasel is right, Wade," agreed Bob, weaker than Weasel though sounding a lot more sympathetic too. "We both knew you before we became friends with you. He didn't. You're complete strangers to each other."

Wade let out a huff, defensive. "So?"

"And so that you, all of you - and you're a _lot_ \- is brand new to him," Weasel continued, not seeming to care. "There's a lot he doesn't know yet. He's just some guy and that scares you, because you like him and you're stupid about people you like."

"... Maybe."

"No maybe, I know that I'm right, Wade. And I'll tell you the same thing I told you before: you're being ridiculous, he won't run away now. Trust me, you're annoying from the start, if he was going to regret being your friend he would've done it ages ago. You've given him more than enough time for that already."

"Wow, thank you, Weasel. Really. That feels great to hear."

"You're not listening to me, you prick! If he's still here it's because he, for some goddamn reason, actually likes you. So let the dude be your friend. Maybe he'll be an asshole later on, but you'll never know if you keep being a pussy."

"Again, why being a pussy is something negative?" Wade said just for the sake of saying it, not knowing what else to do. "I don't get it."

But Weasel knew him too well to let it distract him. "And again, so is being a dick, which you are doing right now by ignoring what I'm saying. Seriously, just let him in! Maybe you'll regret, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll get to suck his dick like you're gagging to—"

"— you seem oddly focused on that, is there anything I should know, Weaz—?"

"— _like you're gagging to since you've met him,_ " Weasel insisted, more firm. "Honestly, I don't care either way. I don't. I just want to enjoy one fucking game without you crying about your boy problems. Please, I'm begging you. Just talk to him."

They let the silence fall for a moment, letting the words sink in as nobody said anything.

In the end it's Bob that breaks it, with that always present distorted noise of his shitty microphone. "I care, Wade," he felt the need to assure, "but I'm with Weasel on this one. He's your friend already, stop sabotaging yourself."

"Ugh, alright," Wade said finally, the annoyed tone he's taken doing nothing to hide the true emotions behind it, "so maybe I am a little scared. Was. Was a little scared. Since when are any of you my therapist anyway? You both should know that two against one is unfair." When neither said anything, he continued. "But sure, I'll try. I won't sabotage myself or whatever, and I'll talk to him about the Guild."

"Good," said Weasel, at the same time Bob chipped an excited: "That's great!"

"Can I go to sleep now or do you two want to talk about your feelings too? Oh, maybe we should discuss Bob's weird relationship with his girlfriend too?" he mocked, feeling way too vulnerable and exposed not to. "Because this call got real uncomfortable real fast and I want out."

"Wade—"

"Cool, bye!"

And hit end.

 _[The Call Was Ended.]_

 _[(1) New Message from Groupchat:_ 'BEES?']

 _ **The Weasel**_ _(3:27 AM):  
_ i stand by what i said just so u know

 _ **The Weasel**_ _(3:27 AM):  
_ fucking talk to him and stop bothering us with ur bitching

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ _(3:29 AM):  
_ GOOD NIGHT WEAZ

 _ **Bobert**_ _(3:30 AM):  
_ Good night, Wade! :)


	9. Chapter Six

(16:14 PM):  
 _Hello, Wade._

(16:15 PM):  
 _Do you want to play some AoW together?_

(16:15 PM): _  
I don't have any classes tomorrow so we can stay up late if you're up to it._

(16:18 PM):  
you had me at hello

(16:19 PM):  
whazzup cable-man

(16:21 PM):  
 _What, no dick joke? Are you feeling sick, Wade?_

(16:22 PM):  
ill let u know im perfectly healthy

(16:22 PM):  
since when are u mister dirty jokes? i thought i was the 13yo

(16:23 PM):  
 _When the occasion rises._

(16:23 PM):  
alright i walked straight into that one

(16:25 PM):  
 _You did._

(16:26 PM): _  
But seriously, are you alright?_

(16:28 PM):  
yea im fine dont worry

(16:29 PM):  
 _We don't have to play if you're not feeling up to it, it's ok._

(16:29 PM):  
but im always UP to it in ur presence

(16:29 PM):  
;)

(16:31 PM):  
 _Now that's the Wade I know._

(16:32 PM): _  
_cmon i just logged

(16:33 PM):  
meet me the main city

...

 _[You invited_ _ **CableS**_ _to private messaging.]_

 **[CableS]:** _It's weird being a few levels in front of you now._ _I feel like I left you behind._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** eh dont worry about it

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and ur not THAT much in front of me

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ill catch up to you in a blink

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** youll see dude

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** its not my first character anyway

 **[CableS]:** _Still, it feels wrong._

 **[CableS]:** _I don't think I like it much._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** wha really

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i tho youd like being the more experienced and mature one for a change

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ooo maybe u can be the teacher now

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** mister cable ;)

 **[CableS]:** _We both know that's still you._

 **[CableS]:** _Well, except for the mature part._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** rude

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** says the grandpa

 _[You invited_ _ **CableS**_ _to a party.]_

 **[CableS]:** _Your profile picture on skype is Hello Kitty as a pony, Wade._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** again its a CLASSIC

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** a true masterpiece

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** you have no taste for art, nathan. im disappointed

 **[CableS]:** _I'm sure you are._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ill let u know i gave half my money for it alright

 **[CableS]:** _You found it on google._

 **[CableS]:** _There's a watermark on it._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** so?

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** dont use logic on me i said what i said

 **[CableS]:** _Anyway, you've played this game for years now and I'm still learning._

 **[CableS]:** _I don't think I'm quite ready for that responsibility just yet._

 **[CableS]:** _Besides I'd miss my favorite teacher, Mister Wade._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** aww natey how sweet

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i know ur just fishing for extra points but you really know how to make a guy blush

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** im flattered

 **[CableS]:** _And also I feel like you'd be a shit student._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** nvm

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** how DARE u

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** jsyk im a model student and top of my classes and all my teachers love me very much

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** just cuz of that no star stickers for you cable-man

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** im OFFENDED!

 **[CableS]:** _An exclamation point, now I know you mean business._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** good

 **[CableS]:** _I see I was mistaken, then._

 **[CableS]:** _My apologies, class president._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** exactly

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** im glad u see ur errors

 **[CableS]:** _Would Weasel agree with your claims?_

 **[CableS]:** _Because something tells me that he wouldn't._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** we already established weaz is a big ol liar who lies

 **[CableS]:** _And Bob?_

 **[CableS]:** _Didn't you say something about him doing your schoolworks for you the other day?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** bob will tell u exactly what i said if he knows whats good for him

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** andits an honest business transaction between us where he does my boring shit for me and i do nothing for him

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** he agreed to it fair and square your honor

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** no foul play

 **[CableS]:** _I'm a lawyer, not a judge. And somehow I doubt that._

 **[CableS]:** _But sure, I'll pretend I believe you._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** youre so rude

 **[CableS]:** _Oh by the way, Neena agreed to be your divorce lawyer. She said she accepts your rare double mount as payment._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** she asks too high a price

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** im starting to think the two of u are in cahoots

 **[CableS]:** _In cahoots?_

 **[CableS]:** _Why, never._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** CAHOOOOOOOOTS

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i knew i should never trust a lawyer

 **[CableS]:** _I take offense in that._

 **[CableS]:** _If anything she'd have pleasure in helping you keep everything in our divorce._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** forgive me if i dont believe that

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and i take offense that u havent accepted my raid request yet

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** or do u only play with your lady friend now

 **[CableS]:** _How will it work now that we're not the same level anymore?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** youll have to take the lead cable-man

 **[CableS]:** _A terrible choice, really._

 _[Your group is ready to play.]_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** oh im counting on it

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** dont worry im a pro i know what im doing

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ill power bottom this shit up

 **[CableS]:** _I won't even comment on that._

…

 _[_ _ **CaptainDeadpool**_ _died.]_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ugh

 **[CableS]:** _I suppose karma really does come for everyone, huh._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ughhh

 **[CableS]:** _Sorry, let me savour this moment a little._

 **[CableS]:** _What was it you had said?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** shut up

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** this is ur fault

 **[CableS]:** _"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing."_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** youre the tank ur supposed to defend me

 **[CableS]:** _"I'm a professional."_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** you know

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** this is why we divorced

 **[CableS]:** _Because I'm mean to you?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** BC YOURE MEAN TO ME

 _[_ _ **CaptainDeadpool**_ _has resurrected.]_

 **[CableS]:** _But it's so easy to._

 **[CableS]:** _I thought it was our thing._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** what making fun of me?

 **[CableS]:** _Yes._

 **[CableS]:** _It's not like you make it hard._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** dick jokes wont make me forgive u

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** tho i do appreciate it

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** nice double entree

 **[CableS]:** _Thank you._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i still hate u

 **[CableS]:** _No, you don't._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** no i dont

…

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** FUCK

 _[_ _ **CaptainDeadpool**_ _died.]_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** not a word

 **[CableS]:** _I didn't even say anything yet._

 **[CableS]:** _Still._

 **[CableS]:** _Maybe the third time's the charm?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** it better fucking be cable-man

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** it better fucking be

…

 _[_ _ **CaptainDeadpool**_ _died.]_

 _[_ _ **CableS**_ _died.]_

 **[CableS]:** _I do recall saying it was a bad idea._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i really do hate u yknow

 **[CableS]:** _That's a shame._

 **[CableS]:** _I thought we were best buddies._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** DIVORCED

 **[CableS]:** _Oh, yes. How could I forget?_

 **[CableS]:** _Divorced best buddies._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i give up this is impossible

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** mamma really did raise a quitter

 **[CableS]:** _Should we do quests then?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yea i gotta catch up to you

 **[CableS]:** _Alright_

 **[CableS]:** _Lead the way, Mister Wade._

…

 **[CableS]:** _I don't think I follow the story of this game very well._

 **[CableS]:** _There was a war and the end of the world, but now not anymore, except there still kind of is? And there's somehow aliens?_

 **[CableS]:** _What IS happening in this game?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** oh shit did you just get a new cutscene?

 **[CableS]:** _Yes._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yeahhhhh that never really gets better, welcome to the aow experience lol

 **[CableS]:** _Does it ever make sense?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** i mean yeah maybe? kinda?

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** not always tbh

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** youd have to like watch all the cutscenes and play as every race and maybe read the books to get everything

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and theres A LOT

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** the games been around for awhile now

 **[CableS]:** _I don't get it, isn't the story the whole point?_

 **[CableS]:** _Why make it hard to follow?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ehhh not really

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** its mostly for the hardcore fans like weaz, the story isnt very newbie friendly they expect you to either not care or be following it all from the start and theres always expansions coming out with more and more new lore

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** im not even sure if they know what theyre doing most of the time tbh theres some plot holes

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** honestly just go with it and youll be fine. they kinda explain whats happening so youll never be totally lost

 **[CableS]:** _I'll have to trust your word, I suppose._

 **[CableS]:** _Haven't you played everything though?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yea i mean i know some stuff

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** enough to know that theres not really a good side and morality in this game is grey af at best and skewed at worse, and to know who is who in cutscenes. dont even get me started on the timelines its all very confusing lemme tell you

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** but i also mostly just play it for the funsies

 **[CableS]:** _I thought the red team were the bad guys though?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ooooooooh boy

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** theres a lot to unpack there but short answer: not really, theyre both royally fucked up

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** blue just thinks theyre better

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** soin the end it doesnt really matter who you pick to play with

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** just have fun with it

 **[CableS]:** _I see._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** regretting picking up the game yet?

 **[CableS]:** _No, not really. I am having fun._

 **[CableS]:** _And you're a good teacher, Wade._

 **[CableS]:** _I'm glad I started playing it, it's just very confusing at times._

 **[CableS]:** _But I don't regret any of it._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** yeahh that gets better as you play

 **[CableS]:** _Does it?_

 **[CableS]:** _Does it really?_

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ok u got me not really

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** but you learn to not give a shit

 **[CableS]:** _Well, at least I'll never be bored. Not when I have you to play with._

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** ;)))

 **[CaptainDeadpool]:** and ur lady friend too right?

 **[CableS]:** _Sure._

 **[CableS]:** _And Neena, too._


	10. Chapter Seven

(9:02 AM):  
anyway its bedtime for me i gotta snooze

(9:02 AM):  
tonight was nice

(9:03 AM):  
i had fun getting utterly destroyed by bosses with u again

(9:03 AM):  
 _It's nine am, Wade._

(9:04 AM):  
 _And likewise. I had fun watching you get destroyed and doing  
quests with you again._

(9:04 AM):  
like i said

(9:04 AM):  
bedtime

(9:05 AM):  
and i remember u dying too, cable-man

(9:06 AM):  
 _Your memory is fuzzy because of the sleep deprivation._

(9:07 AM):  
 _It's playing tricks with you._

(9:10 AM):  
whatever makes u sleep better at night

(9:10 AM):  
gnight natey, sweet dreams

(9:13 AM):  
 _I'm not the one going to sleep. Not yet, anyway._

(9:13 AM): _  
I still have stuff to do before I can take a nap._

(9:14 AM):  
 _Sweet dreams, Wade._

(9:16 AM):  
with u in it? always ;)

...

And true to his word, he didn't go to bed right away, refusing to let his exhaustion ruin his routine again. Instead he did his laundry, ate breakfast, meditated and then Nathan did what he'd been avoiding the entire week, and called his father.

" _So, how's life treating you, son?"_

Nathan thought about it for a second, holding the phone in place between his neck and shoulder as he folds his laundry. The usual dismissive answer, " _Good as usual",_ was on the tip of his tongue, but it wasn't entirely true. Not anymore, at least. Nothing in his life in the past week has been as usual - his carefully planned routine broken into small little pieces with the addition of the addictive game and strange new friendships.

"It's been… interesting, actually," Nathan answered carefully, not knowing exactly what to say to his father and if he would approve of him staying up all night because of video-games. Even if thinking about Scott meeting Wade and his eccentricities made him smile to himself for a second. "Definitely interesting."

" _Oh? Interesting good?"_

He could already imagine half the jokes Wade would make.

Holding back a snort, Nathan continued. "Yes. You'll be happy to know I found myself a hobby recently, I suppose." Gaming could be called a hobby, right? "So you can tell Emma to not worry about it anymore, I know her and Neena have been talking. I won't kill myself by studying too hard. I know now to have fun, too."

And Wade was nothing if not entertaining.

If anything, he's having to remind himself to study - something that had never happened before. Though Nathan was finally finding _some_ balance in his new routine and was by no means slipping on his studies, not really, it was still hard at times to resist temptation and he no longer studied more than necessary. Now he dedicated himself to his work like always, yes, but always keeping in mind what he'll do next when logging on AoW. Always counting down the seconds to be able to play with Wade.

Playing the entire night, however, was to be reserved only for when he had the next day free - like yesterday.

Nathan had learned that lesson the hard way.

" _Neena finally got to you, then?"_ his father asked with a hint of his usual awkward humor, though there was a bit of relief there too. _"That's good. She's good to you, son. I'll never understand why you two broke up."_ Before Nathan could reply, he continued: _"I know what you'll say already. You're better as friends, I know. But she's a good girl."_

She really wasn't. A good friend, certainly, and a brilliant if cut-throat future lawyer. But good behaviour was never much her thing.

" _Just don't party too hard and forget your responsibilities, now. You have to keep your grades up."_

It was a joke. A 'ha!', because as far as his father knew he'd never - always too much of an workaholic, too serious for his own good since a child. But, Nathan thought with regret, it _was_ true. Even if he was getting better at it now, he still slipped at first in his studies.

"I won't," he answered, trying to not sound as guilty as he felt. "I still want to graduate cum laude."

" _Not summa cum laude?"_

"We both know the odds for that are in Neena's favor, as everything always is."

The laugh he got sounded a bit mechanic through the phone, but still genuine. _"That's true,"_ he agreed. _"I'll let Emma know, but I can't promise you she'll stop. She worries."_ And she isn't the only one, went unsaid. _"What is it, anyway? What did Neena finally manage to convince you to do? You didn't seem interested when I suggested beekeeping."_

"There's no place for that in law school, father. And nothing that exciting, really," said Nathan, mentally praising his own bluffing skills for how casual he sounds. "Just playing sometimes with a friend, you know. And Neena, of course."

" _Hmm, that's good. You were always good at sports,"_ was the absent-minded answer.

There was a pause then, with Nathan deliberately not correcting the assumption while his father hesitated for a second to say whatever was truly on his mind, before Scott cleaned his throat awkwardly.

" _You, uh… You know we're proud of you, right, Nathan?"_ Scott finally ended up saying. _"I know I don't say it enough but you're a good son, and a hardworking man. You never gave us any problem and always kept good grades. It's just that…"_

"I'm too hard on myself."

" _Yeah. And I know it's my fault, I've always pushed you too much. I know that. After your mom… well. I didn't handle it well. Your mom would be proud of the man you've become, son. But she would also want you to be happy, not overwork yourself."_

"I know," Nathan assured him not for the first time, yet not any less sincere. "Thanks, dad. I know."

They talked for a few more minutes until his father had to hang up and they said their goodbyes, with Nathan being made to promise calling home more times though they both already knew it was a moot point. It's not that he didn't love his father or didn't want to talk with him, far from it. But neither were the most talkative people and it was always the same awkward dance to avoid hurtful subjects.

Nathan sighed, rubbing his tired eyes. Maybe some sleep would do him good.

 _Only a small nap_ , he promises to himself.

He groaned as his body hit the bed, exhaustion creeping in as he allowed himself to relax. Just for a little bit, until he has to force himself to wake up and continue as always. As a reward for having finished his morning routine already, if anything. Just because he has the entire day free doesn't mean he has to waste it sleeping.

One hour, max.

 _..._

Nathan wakes up five hours later to the sound of his phone buzzing.

With the skill of a half-dead sloth, he searches around his bed for his missing phone cursing whoever it was that woke up him. And whoever had the grand idea of letting him sleep. He felt like had slept for years and he could already feel the headache coming in at full strength. Ugh, he slept too much.

He didn't sleep enough.

When he finally finds it, the brightness of the screen blinds him for a second or two as he curses at his own stupidity. But _of course_ it's Neena, who else could it be at… shit, had he really slept that much?

 _From: Neena  
'AoW tells me you've played the entire night is that true'_

 _From: Neena  
'Pls tell me you're sleeping late i'll win a bet with Merryweather if you are'_

 _From: Neena  
'She was confident it was an one-time thing'_

 _From: Neena  
'Holy shit you really are'_

 _From: Neena  
'Nice'_

Nathan snorted, already typing in his answer as he started to prepare to get up. Really, they had a bet on him? That didn't seem like Irene's style. Neena, sure— she always won those things. But Irene was too serious for stupid things like that. Though then again, not long ago he thought himself too serious too, and look where he's now.

 _To: Neena  
_ 'It's the weekend, Neena. I'm allowed to.'

 _From: Neena  
'He speaks!'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Thanks for waking me up though, I overslept.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'It was supposed to only be a small nap.'

 _From: Neena  
'Relax Summers you're allowed to indulge yourself sometimes'_

 _From: Neena  
'Did you really play the entire night?'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Had to catch up with Wade. He felt left behind, apparently.'

 _From: Neena  
'He could've played with us'_

 _From: Neena  
'Didn't you invite him?'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'I know, and I did.'

 _From: Neena  
'Hm'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Are you online right now?'

 _From: Neena  
'Nah Summers. Some of us have lives.'_

 _From: Neena  
'We can't all play 24/7'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Hah hah.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Seriously though?'

 _From: Neena  
'I have work till 6 so nah'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Why are you texting me then?'

 _From: Neena  
'I'm bored'_

 _From: Neena  
'But maybe your boy is online'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'I'll check.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Be careful to not be fired.'

 _From: Neena  
'I won't :)'_

Shaking his head in disapproval— seriously, how did she ever fool his father into thinking she's a good influence?— Nathan puts down his phone and turns on his computer screen only to see he has unread messages on skype from Wade, who finally changed his profile picture to an image of a naked cat wearing a fuzzy jacket, apparently. Huh.

…

(14:23 PM):  
 _[_ _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ _sent an image.]_

(14:23 PM):  
das me

(16:08 PM):  
 _Oh my god, it's you._

(16:09 PM): _  
Where did you even find that?_

(16:11 PM):  
its me!

(16:11 PM):  
and thats a secret cable-man

(16:12 PM):  
i never share my secrets

(16:12 PM):  
 _Is the secret 'Google'?_

(16:12 PM): _  
And you share your secrets all the time._

(16:12 PM):  
 _Most of the time unprompted._

(16:13 PM):  
das tru

(16:13 PM):  
im an open book

(16:13 PM):  
 _That's one way to call it._

(16:14 PM):  
lol did u just wake up mr grumpy pants?

(16:15 PM):  
 _Maybe._

(16:15 PM):  
 _Hello, Wade._

(16:16 PM): _  
I see you changed your skype picture to fit your true fabulous self._

(16:16 PM):  
whazzup natey

(16:17 PM):  
ofc it was too perfect not to

(16:17 PM):  
tho my last picture will be missed /3

(16:17 PM):  
 _[You sent an image.]_

(16:18 PM):  
Neena told me to share that this is me.

(16:18 PM):  
oh my goddddd that dog looks like an old man

(16:19 PM):  
i knew it

(16:19 PM):  
that is so u

(16:20 PM):  
tell her shes absolutely right that is u

(16:21 PM):  
 _Maybe I should grow a moustache too._

(16:22 PM):  
i dont even know how u look but i feel like thats a bad idea

(16:23 PM):  
in the other hand you should def do that and send me a pic after

(16:24 PM):  
 _You don't know that._

(16:24 PM):  
 _I could make it work._

(16:24 PM):  
oh yea? tell neena abt ur plans

(16:27 PM):  
 _Neena knows nothing._

(16:28 PM):  
she agreed w me didnt she

(16:30 PM):  
atta girl

(16:32 PM):  
 _I fear for the day you two meet._

(16:34 PM):  
dont worry natey

(16:34 PM):  
im sure well be bestest of friends

(16:35):  
 _That's what I'm afraid of._

(16:38 PM):  
 _[_ _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ _sent an image.]_

(16:38 PM):  
lol

(16:40 PM):  
 _Is that supposed to be us as a cat and a dog?_

(16:43 PM):  
 _[You sent a gif.]_

(16:43 PM):  
 _I feel like this is accurate too._

(16:44 PM):  
im surprised u know how to send gifs

(16:45 PM):  
 _I'm not actually elderly, Wade._

(16:46 PM): _  
Regardless of what you and Neena seem to think._

(16:48 PM):  
whatever ya say, natey

(16:49 PM):  
mmm talking abt ur lady friend, will u be playing w her today?

(16:50 PM):  
chill if u are

(16:51 PM):  
 _We haven't made any plans to, no. She's working right now._

(16:53 PM):  
 _Is it odd that I'd prefer playing with you?_

(16:45 PM):  
u do?

(16:56 PM):  
 _Not that she's bad company, far from it. And I started playing for her._

(16:56 PM):  
 _And you could always join us too anytime. I did ask._

(16:57 PM):  
 _I told you she wants to meet you one day and I meant it, she's been  
bothering me about it._

(16:58 PM):  
 _But you're fun._

(16:58 PM):  
 _I like playing with you, Wade._

(16:59 PM):  
 _And we've been playing together since the start. Kind of._

(17:00 PM):  
oh

(17:01 PM):  
uhm

(17:01 PM):  
funny u say that actually

(17:02 PM):  
 _What?_

(17:06 PM):  
its just uh

(17:06 PM):  
weaz bob n i were thinking

(17:07 PM):  
 _A dangerous thing, I'm sure._

(17:07 PM):  
shutup gaston

(17:08 PM):  
 _Sorry, keep going._

(17:08 PM):  
 _Didn't mean to interrupt._

(17:11 PM):  
SO WEAZ BOB N I WERE THINKING

(17:12 PM):  
which is a thing we do

(17:12 PM):  
sometimes

(17:12 PM):  
maybe

(17:13 PM):  
anyway

(17:14 PM):  
feel free to say no btw its chill dont worry abt it no hard feelings

(17:16 PM):  
 _Well, now I'm getting a little worried._

(17:16 PM):  
 _Just ask me, Wade._

(17:16 PM):  
alright

(17:17 PM):  
so we got this guild right

(17:17 PM):  
 _So you do._

(17:17 PM):  
so we do

(17:18 PM):  
 _What's the name of the Guild again?_

(17:20 PM):  
mercs for money

(17:20 PM):  
i know i know i suggested team deadpool but weaz refused

(17:21 PM):  
i dont know why

(17:22 PM):  
 _I can't see why either, it was clearly the superior name._

(17:22 PM):  
right?

(17:22 PM):  
see u get me man

(17:23 PM):  
anywhooo

(17:24 PM):  
stop interrupting me cable-man im getting there

(17:25 PM):  
 _Of course, forgive me. Go on._

(17:29 PM):  
i thot old ppl were patient

(17:30 PM):  
where did my good padawan go youre such an awful listener

(17:36 PM):  
 _Am I supposed to answer that?_

(17:37 PM):  
 _I thought I was supposed to stay quiet and wait for you to finish  
whatever it is that you want to ask me._

(17:38 PM):  
dont sass me old man

(17:38 PM):  
 _Wade._

(17:39 PM):  
yea sorry moving on

(17:40 PM):  
so we have this guild right?

(17:42 PM):  
except i spend most of my time playing w ya now not that das a bad  
thing or anything its not but yea

(17:42 PM):  
so

(17:43 PM):  
thats a problem

(17:44 PM):  
 _I see._

(17:45 PM):  
yea

(17:47 PM):  
 _I didn't know I was eating up all your time with your friends.  
You could've told me._

(17:47 PM):  
 _I'm sorry._

(17:48 PM):  
 _Are Weasel and Bob upset about it?_

(17:48 PM):  
what

(17:48 PM):  
wait shit

(17:49 PM):  
 _You should've said something, Wade. You don't have to keep  
teaching me if you'd rather play with your friends, you know  
don't owe me anything._

(17:50 PM):  
no no no thats not it at all!

(17:50 PM):  
 _I don't mind._

(17:51 PM):  
you dont?

(17:51 PM):  
wait no but thats not what i meant tho!

(17:52 PM):  
 _It's not?_

(17:52 PM):  
fuck no!

(17:54 PM):  
 _Oh_

(17:57 PM):  
ugh sorry i fucked it up

(17:57 PM):  
bad

(17:57 PM):  
i do it a lot too im a mess u should know that by now

(17:58 PM):  
i wanted to ask if u wanted to join our guild and play w us

(17:59 PM):  
 _Oh._

(18:01 PM):  
mainly me still but ye

(18:02 PM):  
we need a tank there anyway since bob sucks ass n weaz  
wants u in the team

(18:02 PM):  
but ofc u can say no if youd rather not i get it

(18:02 PM):  
weaz n bob suck anyway

(18:03 PM):  
we can just keep playing together if you want

(18:03 PM):  
i prefer playing w u too u dumdum

(18:03 PM):  
thats what im trying to say

(18:03 PM):  
have a lil faith in me

(18:03 PM):  
anyway yeah

(18:05 PM):  
 _How would that work, though?_

(18:06 PM): _  
I thought your Guild was on team red._

(18:06 PM):  
it is

(18:07 PM):  
i thought we could make new chars? together

(18:08 PM):  
weaz said he could help us level up too if we want

(18:08 PM):  
u dont even have to be tank

(18:10 PM): _  
Didn't you just say you needed a tank?_

(18:11 PM):  
we can handle bob

(18:11 PM):  
hes not THAT bad

(18:11 PM):  
sos that a yes or a no

(18:13 PM):  
no pressure

(18:15 PM):  
but full pressure ur typing is making me anxious

(18:16 PM):  
cmon cable-man its an one time only offer

(18:16 PM):  
that was a joke

(18:17 PM):  
but what do u say natey dont leave me hanging

(18:18 PM): _  
I'd love to join your Guild, Wade. Let Weasel and Bob know  
that you got yourselves a new member._

(18:18 PM): _  
I don't know about being a paladin again though._

(18:19 PM): _  
Is there another class that can tank?_

(18:20 PM): _  
Sorry, I was texting Neena._

(18:20 PM):  
NICE

(18:21 PM):  
you almost gave me a heartattack there natey jesus

(18:23 PM): _  
Sorry._

(18:23 PM): _  
In my defense you did too, before._

(18:24 PM):  
oh i see

(18:25 PM):  
it was your revenge now wasnt it

(18:25 PM): _  
Maybe._

(18:26 PM):  
mean

(18:28 PM): _  
But seriously, you should've just asked. Of course I want to  
play with you and your friends._

(18:29 PM):  
cool i mean yea of course you do why wouldnt u we're awesome

(18:29 PM):  
i wasnt worried

(18:31 PM): _  
Of course not._

(18:34 PM):  
ill let weaz kno

(18:34 PM):  
then its time to create our new selves

(18:35 PM):  
say goodbye to the wade u know as we start now a new adventure  
together and get rid of our pasts

(18:36 PM):  
ill be buchanan neket the part time gamer part time sausage maker  
who has a weakness for rare equips and beautiful women

(18:36 PM): _  
… I see._

(18:36 PM):  
get it? buck naked?

(18:37 PM):  
 _Yes, I do. Very clever, Wade._

(18:38 PM): _  
And who will I be then?_

(18:38 PM):  
mmmm youll be

(18:38 PM):  
priscilla the queen of aow

(18:39 PM):  
 _Wait, so am I a drag queen or a catfisher now?_

(18:39 PM):  
BOTH

(18:40 PM):  
you spend your time on the internet catfishing losers as a drag queen  
for mounts but ur biggest secret is

(18:40 PM):  
ur a drag queen in real life too

(18:41 PM):  
the most fabulous of them all!

(18:42 PM):  
 _Doesn't that mean I'm just being myself though?_

(18:42 PM):  
 _If I'm catfishing people as myself?_

(18:43 PM):  
dont add logic into it natey just go with the flow

(18:43 PM):  
you gotta make the big bucks somewhere its a cruel world out there

(18:44 PM): _  
Sure, of course. Makes sense._

(18:44 PM):  
now cmon priscilla get in character

(18:45 PM): _  
I'd rather not._

(18:45 PM):  
boring

(18:45 PM): _  
:-)_

(18:46 PM): _  
So, what do you recommend for my new character?_


	11. Chapter Eight

_**Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:01 PM):  
im gonna do it

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:01 PM):  
Wait what, do what now?

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:02 PM):  
 _the thing with the guild?_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:02 PM):  
YES

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:02 PM):  
i found an opening

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:03 PM):  
its gonna be so smooth he wont even know what hit him

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:04 PM):  
 _fucking finally_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:07 PM):  
im doing it fellows!

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:07 PM):  
You can do it Wade!

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:08 PM):  
 _go get him tiger_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:08 PM):  
 _ask him to tank for us_

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:09 PM):  
Hey!

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:45 PM):  
shit i think i fucked up

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:45 PM):  
 _fuck_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:46 PM):  
 _of course you did_

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:46 PM):  
Don't say that Weasel!

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:46 PM):  
 _just saying its wade we're talking about_

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:47 PM):  
How bad was it?

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:55 PM):  
 _[You sent a screenshot.]_

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:57 PM):  
Wade what the fuck

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:01 PM):  
 _HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:01 PM):  
 _WADE_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:01 PM):  
 _WHY THE FUCK DID YOU WORD IT LIKE THAT_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:04 PM):  
i can fix it!

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:05 PM):  
 _youre an idiot_

...

Nathan took a second to breath, now that the confusion was past and he knew Wade wasn't trying to brush him off. It had been painful to think so, even more after opening up to him. Nathan had an inkling, before, that the other had been trying to invite him to the Guild. But then Wade threw him that curve ball and he hadn't been sure of anything anymore.

He looked down to his phone, texting Neena about his decision before giving Wade his answer. Not entirely on purpose, he genuinely thought about letting her know first, but hey— a little revenge was more than fair.

 _To: Neena  
'_I'm going to make a new red character to play with Wade.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'He has a Guild there.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Thought you should know.'

The reply didn't take long to come, and Nathan laughed at her accusation.

 _From: Neena  
'Traitor'_

 _From: Neena  
'What about me'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'We can still play together with my current character, I'm not deleting it.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'And personally I'd call it being practical.'

 _From: Neena  
'Fine'_

 _From: Neena  
'You make a decent deal Nathan Summers i'll take it'_

 _From: Neena  
'Now go play with your boy toy'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Always a pleasure doing business with you.'

He looked at his screen— noticing it took him longer to hit send than he'd first intended, and Nathan felt a pang of guilt at Wade's mini freak out at his silence. Of course the answer was always going to be yes, how could Wade think otherwise?

…

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:12 PM):  
if he says no its all ur fault and i will hate all of you forever  
and jsyk i mean that w full offense

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:13 PM):  
 _hes not going to say no stop being a baby and trust the guy_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
i trust nate

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
i dont trust u and ur shitty advice, thats different

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:15 PM):  
oh my god he hates me now

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:16 PM):  
 _fucking christ_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:16 PM):  
 _he doesnt hate you maybe he went to take a shit or whatever_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:17 PM):  
 _let the guy answer first before you start freaking the fuck out_

 _[(1) New Message From Groupchat: '#1 CablePool Stans']_

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:29 PM):  
Wade?

…

 _From: Neena  
'Just let him know that we're still gonna be playing together one of these days'_

 _From: Neena  
'I'm not letting either of you get away with it'_

 _From: Neena  
'I want to meet your boy'_

Nathan frowned at his phone. Honestly, for all his jokes he'd been looking forward for the two of them to meet; it'll either be a match made in hell or a complete disaster, though he's betting on the former. Either way it'd be entertaining. Neena's his best friend, of course he wanted her to meet Wade. Why was she implying otherwise?

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Sure, that's fine with me. I'll tell him.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'And he's not my boy, don't call him that. He's just a friend.'

 _From: Neena  
'Does he know that?'_

...

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:51 PM):  
GUESS WHO GOT US A NEW TANK, BITCHES

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:53 PM):  
Oh, thank god

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:56 PM):  
HE SAID YES!

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:56 PM):  
we're creating our new chars rn

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:57 PM):  
we have a new member boys i hope you two will behave  
when you finally meet him

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:59 PM):  
 _we absolutely will not_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
thats my weaz

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:17 PM):  
 _told you hed say yes_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:17 PM):  
 _dont know why all the pussyfooting around_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
yes u did

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
and u were right

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
i should learn to always listen to u, o wise weasel

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:17 PM):  
 _ill remember you said that next time_

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:29 PM):  
I believed in you, Wade!

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
thanks bobs

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:29 PM):  
Does that mean i can stop tanking now? Please?

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
yes it does

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
finally

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:17 PM):  
 _knew your new dream boy would be useful for something_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:13 PM):  
fuck offffff

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:17 PM):  
 _let me know when youre done so i can invite both of you  
to the guild asap_

…

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Yes, he does.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Stop whatever it is that you're implying.'

 _From: Neena  
'Not implying anything Summers chill'_

 _From: Neena  
'I'm just saying'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Don't.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'It's not like that.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'We're friends, Neena. Just that.'

 _From: Neena  
'Methinks doth protests too much'_

 _From: Neena  
'But whatever'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'I mean it.'

 _To: Neena  
_ 'You know I don't like when you meddle and try to play matchmaker.'

 _From: Neena  
'Okay fine'_

 _From: Neena  
'Sorry i said anything'_

 _From: Neena  
'_ _[You received an image.]_ _'_

 _From: Neena  
'Here'_

 _From: Neena  
'To break the awkward mood'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Is that you as a cat?'

 _From: Neena  
'Yep'_

 _To: Neena  
_ 'Where did you even find a picture of cat that fitted you?'

 _To: Neena_  
'I looked everywhere for one earlier'

 _From: Neena  
';)'_

 _From: Neena  
'I'm just lucky like that'_

…

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:21 PM):  
 _are you going to invite him to the groupchat too_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:23 PM):  
i gotta ask him first

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:24 PM):  
but probs yea

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:24 PM):  
why

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:24 PM):  
 _nothing its chill_

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:27 PM):  
Really?

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:27 PM):  
whyyyyy?

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:28 PM):  
 _holy shit he hasnt realized it yet_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:28 PM):  
 _shut up bob dont tell him_

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:29 PM):  
Nothing. No reason at all.

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:30 PM):  
 _thats a great idea wade you should definitely do it_

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:30 PM):  
The sooner the better.

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:30 PM):  
 _exactly_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:39 PM):  
suspicious

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:42 PM):  
There's nothing suspicious going on.

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:45 PM):  
 _nothing at all_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:45 PM):  
 _dont worry about it_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:47 PM):  
hmmmmmmmmmm

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:47 PM):  
dont trust that

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:48 PM):  
 _theres nothing suspicious about wanting to meet your new man crush_

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:50 PM):  
I mean, you've told us so much about him.

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:51 PM):  
It's almost like we know him already.

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:51 PM):  
 _yepp_

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:51 PM):  
O:)

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:56 PM):  
hes not a man crush

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:57 PM):  
i dont have a crush on him i mean

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:57 PM):  
shut up

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:58 PM):  
pls dont be weird abt it when you meet him

 _ **The Weasel**_ (19:02 PM):  
 _the chances of that happening are so low buddy_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (19:03 PM):  
 _we're always weird_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:05 PM):  
sighhh

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:05 PM):  
true

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:07 PM):  
maybe i shouldnt invite him actually

 _ **Bobert**_ (19:09 PM):  
Don't worry, Wade!

 _ **Bobert**_ (19:09 PM):  
If he can stand you I doubt he will mind us.

 _ **Bobert**_ (19:10 PM):  
I'm sure it will go fine :)

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:12 PM):  
thanks bob that was almost sweet

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:13 PM):  
still dont trust either of u with whatever is going on

 _ **The Weasel**_ (19:14 PM):  
 _just invite the dude_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:15 PM):  
fine


	12. Chapter Nine

_[You invited_ _ **TheMessiah**_ _to private messaging.]_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** omg thats such a pretentious username

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** holy fuck nate

 **[TheMessiah]:** _The game suggested it._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** suuuuuuuuuuure it did

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** honestly i'm disappointed

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** where's my priscilla

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I don't see Buchanan Neket the sausage maker anywhere, either._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I'm disappointed in both of us._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _But don't worry, Wade. I'm sure they'll always be with us._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** in our hearts and memories

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** never forgotten

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** rip

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** rip in peace

 **[TheMessiah]:** _They're not dead, Wade._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _They never existed in the first place._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** how dare u nathaniel whatever ur middle name is all i know is that it starts with a c summers

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Oh God, don't._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** TO DISRESPECT SIR BUCHANAN NEKET AND PRISCILLA THE QUEEN OF AOW

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Since when was he a sir?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** IN THIS DAY OF MOURNING

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** I'M OFFENDED, CABLE-MAN. OFFENDED!

 _[_ _ **TheMessiah**_ _has invited you to a party.]_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** for real tho i see u picked a warrior

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** nice

 **[TheMessiah]:** _And you a rogue. Fitting._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** to match my roguish charms

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I can see that._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Don't understand why a cat girl though._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** ;)

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Actually, I don't want to know._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** smart choice

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** look at us

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** low level again

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** starting a new adventure together

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** it brings back so many memories

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** so many noob deaths in the hands of basic ass bosses

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** :')

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** amazing

 **[TheMessiah]:** _At least now I somewhat know how to play._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _It probably won't happen again so many times._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** it probs will lbr

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Yeah, it probably will still happen anyway._

…

 _[_ _ **Penetraitor**_ _has invited you to join the Guild_ _ **Mercs For Money**_ _.]_

 _[You have now joined a Guild. Welcome!]_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _i invited your boyfriend already too_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _so youre welcome_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** thanks weaz

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but also blow me weaz

 **[Penetraitor]:** _no thanks ill leave that to cables_

…

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Is there a way to let the game know I've already done this before and no, I don't need to see all the cutscenes and listen to all of the dialogue again? This is my second character. I already know all of this._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Also I've accepted the invitation to the Guild._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I'm assuming that Weasel was the one to invite me, yes?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** that was weaz yea

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** also wait what

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** have u been getting all the cutscenes again

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Yes?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** omg

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** just skip them u complete dork

 **[TheMessiah]:** _…_

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Right, of course._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** you dont know how

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I didn't know I could do that, to be completely honest._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** omggggg

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i see my teaching lessons arent done yet

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I swear I'm not this incompetent with a computer._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _The game should tell you it's an option._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _So what do I press next time? Just esc?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** yea

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** dont worry its cute

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Really?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** youre like a grandpa

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Hm._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** an adorable grandpa!

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Whatever you say, Wade._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Check your skype._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** cute cat

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Neena wanted me to share with you that that's her._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _From our previous conversation._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** nice

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** why that specific cat tho?

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Right, I suppose you wouldn't know._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Neena has vitiligo._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _She has a similar spot._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** ooooooooooooooooooh

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** makes sense

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** thats cool

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** your lady friend sounds pretty

 **[TheMessiah]:** _She is._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i guess you lucked out huh

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I will tell her you said that._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _But we're not dating anymore, Wade._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _You can just call her my friend._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** yea yea you said

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** talking abt skype

 **[TheMessiah]:** _What?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i should probs invite u to the groupchat too while we're at it

 **[TheMessiah]:** _As long as your friends don't mind me._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I probably won't speak much there, though._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** thats chill

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** and yea, theyre cool w it

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** they were the ones that asked anyway

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** tho if theyre weird just ignore them pls just ignore them

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Why would they be weird?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** nothing no reason

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i mean

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** theyre always weird thats their natural state

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but no reason in particular

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** well theyre being shady atm but thats probably nothing, theyre just teasing me

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** anyway just b careful and never trust anything weaz says

 **[TheMessiah]:** _… Alright._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i made it worse, didnt i

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Maybe._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _But I don't mind, I'm used to you by now. It's part of your charm._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Can we do it tomorrow thought? It's already getting late._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I don't think I can play a lot more tonight either, I should probably call it a night._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** god youre such an old man, its not even 9 yet

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but sure

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** bobs offline now anyway

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Do I have to remind you that we played all night yesterday?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** soooooooooo?

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** u slept during the day didnt u

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Not enough, Wade. Not nearly enough._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _And I have class tomorrow._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _So do you, as a matter of fact._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but thats boring

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** god ur so responsible i can just sleep during it its chill

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Please do not sleep during lessons, Wade._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but theyre boring

 **[TheMessiah]:** _They're important._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Didn't you say you were a model student?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i lied

 **[TheMessiah]:** _You don't say._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I'm shocked, Wade. Shocked._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I thought I could trust you._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** hah hah.

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** alright mister sarcasm calm down

 **[TheMessiah]:** _At least promise me you'll try to go to bed after I log off?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** godddddddddd

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** why are u like this

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** im used to playing overnight all the time natey its ok

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Still._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** fine

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i promise i will try

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Thank you._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** even if i dont understand why u even care

 **[TheMessiah]:** _It's not healthy for you to go without sleep so often, Wade._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _And I care about you._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I thought that was obvious by now._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** that

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** oh

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i promise i wil go to bed early for u and everything natey

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** dont worry

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i will try to be the responsible wade u believed i was

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I never believed it._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _But good boy, Wade._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** ajdhksbahjdba

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** you cant just SAY that

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** right after being all genuine and shit

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** giving me whiplash

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Of course I can._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I'm a man of layers, Wade._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** okay shrek

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** straight into the spank bank it goes

 **[TheMessiah]:** _See? And You thought going to bed early would be boring._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** well i stand corrected

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Seriously though?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** yea yea

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i wont stay up

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** even if other bits of me are right now ;)

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Alright, good._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Thank you, Wade._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** can we at least do a few more quests before u go tho?

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** just to finish it off

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** so we can get to lvl 15

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I don't know, Wade. I'm a bit worn out._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** pleaseeeeeeeeeeee?

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** pretty please?

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** pretty pretty please with a cherry on top of it?

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Well._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I'm sure one more quest won't hurt._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** NOICE

 **[TheMessiah]:** _But as soon as we get to level fifteen I'm going straight to bed._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I mean it._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** whatever ya say, buddy

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** whatever ya say

 **[TheMessiah]:** _You're a terrible influence._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** u love me anyway

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I suppose I do, don't I._

…

 _[_ _ **Penetraitor**_ _has invited you to private messaging.]_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _have you invited him to our skype chat already_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** jeez weaz whats the fucking rush

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** why are u all up in my bizz abt it

 **[Penetraitor]:** _just making sure you dont wuss out like last time_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _and its been hours wade_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** what really

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** shit

 **[Penetraitor]:** _whats the excuse now_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** we're doing it tomorrow okay

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** and before u get all up my ass abt it no mother im not "avoiding the issue" he was the one to ask that alright

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** bc hes a grandma

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** so its not my fault i did ask him and i have proof

 **[Penetraitor]:** _actually that works_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** what

 **[Penetraitor]:** _i mean_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _its better if we meet him together right_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _yes_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _that makes sense._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** uh sure

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** if u say so

 **[Penetraitor]:** _maybe you should come over tomorrow_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _use my second setup_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _bob can bring his laptop and we make it day_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** youre beind weird

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** explain

 **[Penetraitor]:** _im not being weird youre being weird_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _your face is weird_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _i just want to hang out with my friends tomorrow while we meet his new boyfriend_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _theres nothing weird in that_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i smell a trap

 **[Penetraitor]:** _theres no trap_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** theres absolutely a trap

 **[Penetraitor]:** _also i see you didnt protest to him being your boyfriend this time_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _is that acceptance i see?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i know a diversion when i see it

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** u two arent planning on giving him the shovel talk are u

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** bc as much as it would warm my feeligns theres so much wrong with that i wouldnt even know where to start

 **[Penetraitor]:** _do i look like i give a shit enough to do that?_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _and theres no trap stop being paranoid_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _we just havent done it in a while alright since you two started playing together_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** awwwwwwwwwwww

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** do u miss me weaz is that it

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** thats adorable

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but sure, das true

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** fine whatever

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** we can do that

 **[Penetraitor]:** _great_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _now_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _can we raid later today or will you play with cables all night again?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** actually

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** im gonna hit the sack soon

 **[Penetraitor]:** _what_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** sleep, weaz

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** im going to bed. get some forty winks. im calling it a night. visiting dream land.

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** gonna crash

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** catch some zzzs

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** diciendo buenas noches, as the french say

 **[Penetraitor]:** _i know what you mean dumbass_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _now close the google page_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _i just meant what the hell its barely even eleven_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _who are you and what have you done to wade_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** hah hah

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** some of us take care of our healths weaz jesus

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i gotta watch out for my body yknow

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** get my beauty sleep so i can stay this pretty

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** plus we got school tomorrow

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** what kind of student would i be if i missed that

 **[Penetraitor]:** _the same that got suspended three weeks ago for pulling a prank on the pe teacher_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** yknow logan loves me

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** its forbidden love

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** he just wont admit it bc hes a big furry tsundere

 **[Penetraitor]:** _i dont even know how you managed to wrap his entire bike in wrapping paper so quickly_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** im crafty

 **[Penetraitor]:** _nor why the hell would you poke that bear_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i was bored

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** and anyway im a changed man now weaz

 **[Penetraitor]:** _why because of cables?_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _holy shit it is_

 **[Penetraitor]:** _he told you to go to sleep early didnt he_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** nnnno

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** im just sleepy thats all

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** shut up

 **[Penetraitor]:** _god youre so fucking whipped_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** GNIGHT WEASEL

 **[Penetraitor]:** _good night bob 2.0_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** now that right there hurt my feelings

 **[Penetraitor]:** _doesnt make it any less true_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** bYE

…

 **[TheMessiah]:** _How are we level 23 already?_

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I swear we were level 8 just now. This game was NOT this hooking when I first started playing it on my own._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** das bc playing alone sucks

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but im glad to hear how much u enjoy the pleasure of my company cable-man

 **[TheMessiah]:** _That I do._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Still. It was only supposed to be one more quest._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** its always just one more quest

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** thats how they get u

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Shit._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** then the next time u blink you havent left ur bedroom in a week and theres a shit ton of pizza boxes and pepsi cans on the ground and ur roommate thought u were dead

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Are you talking from experience?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** maybe.

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** sure as shit startled al when it happened

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** shes used to it now tho lol

 **[TheMessiah]:** _How charming._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Al?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i call her blind al its our thing

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Your roommate, I presume?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** since i was 12 yea and she signed the papers

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Ah._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** yea

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I'm sorry._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** why tho

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** its been years now and shes chill

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** and blind as a bat the old hag

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** we get along like batman and robin

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** shes robin ofc

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Of course._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Hence the nickname, I see._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** smart boy

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Well._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I suppose we should be going to bed, then._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** why natey

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** u gonna ask it just like that

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** with no foreplay

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** at least buy me dinner first, you nasty

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** im into it

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I got you that dagger, what more do you need?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** how romantic

 **[TheMessiah]:** _And you know what I mean._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _To sleep. On our own beds._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Separate beds._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** way to crush my hopes and dreams, cable-man

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Life's cruel like that._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** damn

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Good night, Wade 3_

 **[TheMessiah]:** _See you tomorrow._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** night natey

 _[_ _ **TheMessiah**_ _has disconnected.]_

 _Unsent:_ **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** see ya 3


	13. Chapter Ten

To be completely honest, Wade missed hanging out with his friends.

Sure, they always saw each other at school and Nate didn't, no matter how much Weasel bitched and teased about it, actually eat up most of his free time— they still had their raids together even with the first few hiccups, they still played their weekly zombie shooter, and just the other day Wade spent the entire night playing Terraria with Bob.

(A game in which Bob, by some miracle, turned out to be half decent at.)

But they hadn't hung out together— actually hung out, without a screen separating them— since they crashed Bob's date to raid his fridge and cockblocked him, in what Wade had been secretly calling The Wussing Out Incident.

And even then, they had Allison screaming at Bob in the background for most of the night, while Weasel and Wade ate all the ice cream and talked shit about random stuff, until she just got fed up and left and Bob was finally free to give Wade the attention he deserved in his emotional state. Not that he'd been sulking, because _he hadn't_ , thank you very much.

"You absolutely were sulking, Wade," spoke up Weasel, like the traitor he was, "like a five years old that didn't get his candy."

Wade flipped him off, glaring at Bob who had been nodding along. "Shut up, was _not._ "

"Sorry, four years old."

"RUDE!"

But anyways, yeah. He missed the assholes he called his friends, not that they in any way deserved the sentiment.

Wade looked at where they were fighting over what pizza they should reheat first and if it should or not have anchovies— a common fight, between them. Bob hated them and liked his pizza as basic as possible, the vanilla loser, while Weasel refused to eat his without it. As per the rules of their friendship, compromise was for cowards who don't have the guts to stand for what they believe in and so it was all or nothing every single time, obviously something only decided with a death match.

(Which between Bob and Weasel, was more like a hilarious slap fight between two blind toddlers than an actual battle.)

It used to be decided by votation, with Wade's vote being the wildcard every single time, but he'd been banned recently from the topic because of his belief that pineapple belongs on pizza and Hawaiian was the ultimate topping, which both deemed unacceptable. So that's how you know the two were _wrong,_ regardless of their stands and who wins.

Yeah. Wade missed them.

…

 _[_ _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ _Added_ _ **Nathan Summers**_ _To The Groupchat: '#1 CablePool Stans'.]_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:22 PM):  
hey assholes this is nate

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:23 PM):  
nate, this is bob and weaz dont trust them

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:23 PM):  
 _rude_

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:24 PM):  
Hi! I'm Bob!

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:24 PM):  
 _Hey, I'm Nathan._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:25 PM):  
 _Nice to meet you two._

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:26 PM):  
 _yeah yeah you too_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:26 PM):  
 _What's with the groupchat name?_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:26 PM):  
sHIT

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:26 PM):  
HAH

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:27 PM):  
Oh my god

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:27 PM):  
Thank you so much, Nate. That was hilarious!

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:28 PM):  
 _What was?_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:29 PM):  
 _I'm lost._

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:29 PM):  
Weasel started crackling like mad and Wade threw something at him.

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:32 PM):  
 _IT WAS HIS FUCKING PHONE AND IT HURT LIKE A BITCH_

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:32 PM):  
Was it worth it though?

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:32 PM):  
 _So fucking worth it._

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:33 PM):  
 _He screeched like a little girl._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:34 PM):  
 _That does sound like Wade._

 _[_ _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ _Changed The Name Of The Groupchat To: 'National Holiday of Shut The Fuck Up Weasel'.]_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:36 PM):  
 _Lol._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:37 PM):  
UR ALL TRAITORS AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:37 PM):  
I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:37 PM):  
 _I didn't even do anything, I was just curious._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:37 PM):  
except for natey, hes never done anything wrong in his life ever

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:38 PM):  
 _That's better._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:38 PM):  
 _Thank you._

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:39 PM):  
That's unfair, you're playing favorites.

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:40 PM):  
it is absolutely fair after this betrayal

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:42 PM):  
 _honestly you played yourself there buddy_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:42 PM):  
 _you were the one to name the chat_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:42 PM):  
 _STOP THROWING SHIT AT ME YOU ASSHOLE_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:44 PM):  
u deserve it and u know it

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:45 PM):  
 _Wait, you're all in the same room together?_

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:46 PM):  
Yeah!

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:46 PM):  
We're at Weasel's. :)

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:46 PM):  
 _Why are you all talking on skype then?_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:47 PM):  
so we can speak w u too, dummy

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:48 PM):  
 _duh_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:48 PM):  
 _what else were we supposed to do_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:48 PM):  
 _smoke signals?_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:49 PM):  
i thot that was obvious

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:49 PM):  
 _Oh._

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:50 PM):  
Also we wanted to see Wade's reaction in person lol

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:50 PM):  
and here i thought yall missed me and wanted to hang out as friends

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:51 PM):  
That too.

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:52 PM):  
 _I still don't really understand but that's nice of you._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:52 PM):  
we will keep it that way

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:54 PM):  
But yeah it's nice to meet you too!

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:55 PM):  
We've heard so much about you, it feels like you're part of the group already.

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (15:55 PM):  
 _Did you now?_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:55 PM):  
 _oh yeah_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:56 PM):  
shut up shut up shut up

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:56 PM):  
 _my friend nate? hes sooo cool without even trying_

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:57 PM):  
My friend, Nate? He's the funniest guy I know. All dry humor and witty.

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:57 PM):  
 _my friend nate? hes oh soooooo smart_

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:57 PM):  
Did I tell you he's a lawyer?

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:58 PM):  
 _did i tell you hes an old man? such a dork_

 _ **Bobert**_ (15:58 PM):  
It's sooooo adorable!

 _ **The Weasel**_ (15:58 PM):  
 _hes a pretty good tank too even though he just started_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (15:58 PM):  
shut uppppppppppp

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:00 PM):  
 _there he goes again_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:02 PM):  
 _What's he doing now?_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:02 PM):  
 _he's hitting bob with a pillow_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:03 PM):  
 _his face is all red_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:05 PM):  
 _That's cute._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:09 PM):  
 _I'm sure you're all exaggerating but I'm flattered, Wade._

 _ **Bobert**_ (16:10 PM):  
We're really, really not.

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:10 PM):  
 _And I'm not a lawyer yet, I've just started law school._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:10 PM):  
 _He talks a lot about you two too, you know._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:11 PM):  
 _You're good friends._

 _ **Bobert**_ (16:11 PM):  
Nothing good, I bet.

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:13 PM):  
dont lie to them natey theyre awful and they know it

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:14 PM):  
 _and proud of it_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:15 PM):  
 _How long have you known each other again?_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:16 PM):  
 _too fucking long_

…

"You're a bunch of assholes, oh my god," Wade complained, hitting Bob with one of the shitty, uncomfortable pillows Weasel has laying around his couch. If his voice was a touch too high-pitched, well, he'd deny it to his grave. "I hate all of you!"

Bob tried his best to avoid his attacks, failing miserably and ending up being hit in the face over and over while still trying to stop laughing.

"Sorry, sorry—! Wade— stop that! Shit, I'm sorry!"

"I told you to not be weird about it! You just had one job! Not! Be! Fucking! Weird!"

"I know, I'm sorry! We were just teasing you," said Bob, not sounding nearly apologetic enough as he was still giggling. "It was Weasel's idea!"

"Of course it was."

From the other corner of the living room Weasel protested, feeling betrayed: "Hey!"

Which, too fucking bad. Everyone knew Bob was a snitch.

Wade glared at him, narrowing his eyes and calculating the distance to be able to hit the dickhead right in the face. As expected from someone who spent far too much time with him, Weasel seemed to read his mind and threw his arm up for protection before Wade could even throw the pillow. Assface. He'd get him later then, when he's last expecting it.

God, Nate must think he's so fucking weird— babbling about him to his friends like a schoolgirl with a crush, and with that groupchat name that was supposed to be ironic, goddammit, he swears. Granted, Wade _is_ pretty fucking weird, but still.

That had to be against some bro code or something, right? Some line that was never supposed to be crossed without at least ten layers of toxic masculinity and a no homo thrown there for safety. Nate's probably rethinking their entire friendship now. Shit. Shit fuck. Fucking shit fuck. Had Wade been too obvious? Was he uncomfortable now?

He'd kill Bob and Weasel in their sleep if Nate no longer wanted to be his friend.

"Before you get your panties in a twist, look at your skype again," said Weasel, in what was probably his idea of an apology. "He thought it was cute. That means he wants to suck your dick too."

In a blink, Wade was in front of Weasel's second setup again— one of the computers he'd assembled together himself with random parts and so his pride and joy, only inferior to his main computer that sat right next to it and had three huge screens which were clear signs of compensation, if you asked Wade— reading the short conversation that happened while he was out seeking revenge.

He'll still kill those two for embarrassing him like that but— _Cute._ Nate thought it was cute.

Nate thought he was cute.

"Ugh, fuck off, Weasel. Also, my face wasn't red— it's hot today, that's all," Wade protested weakly, offended, still caught up in Nate's words but defending his honor nonetheless. "I wasn't blushing."

"Sure, Jan."

"See, I'd almost get offended at your sarcasm, Bob, if that meme hadn't died _three years ago!_ God, I'm ashamed of knowing you."

Weasel snorted. "Give the guy a break. At least he used it right."

"You use old memes too all the time, Wade," pointed out Bob, though his embarrassment was clear. Oh, sweet sweet revenge.

"Ironically! I use them ironically, it's a whole different layer of humor. You wouldn't understand it."

" _Sure, Jan."_

"Oh, screw you, Weasel."

…

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:17 PM):  
 _but dont worry you get used to wades whole…_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:17 PM):  
 _wadeness_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:18 PM):  
 _after a while_

 _ **Bobert**_ (16:18 PM):  
Really, he's not that bad once you know him.

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:18 PM):  
 _yeah he is_

 _ **Bobert**_ (16:19 PM):  
Yeah, he is.

 _ **Bobert**_ (16:20 PM):  
But you learn how to tune out most of what he says.

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:21 PM):  
 _he doesnt even mind it_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:21 PM):  
 _its mostly nonsense anyway_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:23 PM):  
 _and lets be honestly most of the time even wade doesnt know  
what the fuck hes talking about_

 _ **Bobert**_ (16:24 PM):  
You'll fit right in with us!

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:26 PM):  
 _Thanks… I think._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:27 PM):  
 _But I like hearing what Wade has to say._

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:27 PM):  
 _you say that now_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:28 PM):  
 _And I mean it._

 _ **Bobert**_ (16:29 PM):  
I guess it's different when you see him everyday in person.

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:30 PM):  
stfu stop talking shit abt me to nate

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:30 PM):  
its true but still

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:31 PM):  
screw yall

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:32 PM):  
 _I don't think so._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:32 PM):  
 _I think it's part of his charm. I like it._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:33 PM):  
 _He makes me laugh._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:33 PM):  
oh

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:34 PM):  
thats

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:34 PM):  
 _gay as fuck._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:34 PM):  
it is really gay yes

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:35 PM):  
 _Doesn't make it any less true._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:36 PM):  
 _I'm glad I got to know you, Wade._

 _ **Bobert**_ (16:37 PM):  
Awwww

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:39 PM):  
 _Is he blushing again?_

 _ **Bobert**_ (16:39 PM):  
Yeah, he's hiding his face with his hands.

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:41 PM):  
bobert if you dont shut the hell up i will make u regret it  
you traitorous dog

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:41 PM):  
i dont blush

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:42 PM):  
i was merely thinking of all the ways to tease you for that  
sappy shit u just said there cable-man

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:42 PM):  
 _Of course you were._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:42 PM):  
but

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:42 PM):  
same

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:43 PM):  
i'm glad i met u too

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:43 PM):  
you warm the dark and cold spot where my heart used to be

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:44 PM):  
3

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:44 PM):  
 _3_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (16:45 PM):  
 _So edgy. Are you sure you're not a character from DC?_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (16:46 PM):  
W O W

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:49 PM):  
 _goddammit you two are made for each other_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (16:49 PM):  
 _im done here_

…

Wade typed a 'screw you weaz' without giving it much thought, far too distracted to actually care. His heart was still pounding inside his chest at Nate's words and he just knew he had a big dopey smile on his face. Fuck, but he was a goner for the guy.

Nate was just joking, of course, he must've been— it was nothing new from their usual banter.

But.

But…

That was the first time someone defended him like that. And it wasn't even against a real offense, because Wade didn't really mind it and he knew his friends were just joking around. But Nate still did it, and stood by what he said and refused to play along even though he must've known it might make things awkward.

Not just that, but he said he likedit.

And the thing is, nobody _really_ liked hearing Wade talk. He was obnoxious, he talked too much and half the time it didn't make any sense— and most of the time, that was on purpose. Wade liked annoying people. And maybe Bob was right, and things are different online from in person, but he's been told to shut up and how annoying he was by people online before. He knows how irritating he can be regardless of the media. And yet.

 _Nate never told him to shut up,_ Wade realized with a jolt, and it was true.

So what does that mean, then?

Wade didn't know.

When the silence stretched far too long for an apartment full of teenagers, Wade looked to his side where Weasel was sitting close to him, catching him seemingly focused on whatever it was that had him typing so much. But when he looked at the groupchat, there were no new messages from him nor a 'The Weasel is typing…', only Bob sharing a story Wade knew too well of how he became friends with them, when Wade scared off some older dipshit with a ratty moustache and daddy issues that'd been bullying him.

To tell the truth, Wade hadn't done it for him but just because he hated bullies with a passion, and in the end it had been more trouble than worth it as the fucker with a peanut for brain got his revenge. But Bob's then hero worship had been cute and so he was allowed in their little group, like a mascot of some sort. Or a pet. Or both, really.

Still.

"Whatcha doin' there, Weaz?"

"Nothing," came the response, far too quick to be true and by the wince, Weasel knew it too. When Wade tried peeking, he changed tabs and glared. Suspicious. "What? Stop being nosy, it's none of your business."

"You better not be talking shit about me to Nate. Again."

"I'm not talking to your boyfriend, Wade. Not everything is about you. I'm just on facebook."

"Doing what?" Bob asked curious, saving Wade the trouble of having to. So maybe he wasn't completely useless.

"Asking your mom when's a good time for her to come blow me," Weasel deadpanned.

Wade snorted and gave him a high-five, before remembering he was supposed to be interrogating Weasel and not congratulating him. Oh well, whatever. It probably wasn't even interesting anyway, Weasel rarely used social media— he hated it with his whole being.

Wait a second.

"You don't have a facebook, you filthy liar!"

…

 _[_ _ **The Weasel**_ _would like to add you on Skype.]_

(16:53 PM):  
 _hey_

(16:54 PM):  
 _Hi?_

(16:54 PM):  
 _Can I help you?_

(16:55 PM):  
 _you know_

(16:55 PM):  
 _wade doesnt have many friends_

(16:56 PM):  
 _I got that impression from him, yes._

(16:57 PM):  
 _Though I can't really understand why, to be completely honest.  
He's a nice guy and fun to be around._

(16:58 PM):  
 _Why isn't he more popular?_

(16:59 PM):  
 _shit hasnt been easy for him. at all._

(16:59 PM):  
 _for a lot of reasons really_

(17:00 PM):  
 _and i dont want to ever have to deal with a heartbroken wade again_

(17:00 PM):  
 _ive done it before and its fucking annoying_

(17:00 PM):  
 _one time was more than enough_

(17:01 PM):  
 _so keep in mind if you ever so much think about hurting him i can and  
will hack everything you own and make your life a living hell_

(17:01 PM):  
 _and not even the feds will be able to prove anything_

(17:04 PM):  
 _That sounds highly illegal._

(17:04 PM):  
 _i mean it_

(17:05 PM):  
 _i can and will do it_

(17:09 PM):  
 _I believe you._

(17:09 PM):  
 _I can't promise you I will never hurt Wade, I don't know the future._

(17:10 PM):  
 _But I can promise you I don't intend to ever do it. I like Wade, and I  
like being his friend. I don't want to screw that up._

(17:11 PM):  
 _It's good to know he has friends that care about him that much._

(17:12 PM):  
 _whatever_

(17:12 PM):  
 _i dont care i just know how annoying he can be_

(17:13 PM):  
 _Whatever you say._

(17:13 PM):  
 _just dont be a dick summers_

(17:14 PM):  
 _i will know_

(17:15 PM):  
 _I will keep that in mind._

(17:16 PM):  
 _then my job here is done_

…

"Wade, I've told you already— I don't give a shit enough about your new beau. Stop being paranoid."

Wade let go from where he was trying to change the tabs in Weasel's computer, trying the best he could to look intimidating and not pouting as he closed his arms together over his chest and stared the other down.

"Now, why don't I believe you?" Wade asked, pouring every single drop of sarcasm he could gather into it.

He pretended to think it over, dragging the moment a lot longer than necessary because just to be dramatic, even though they both knew that the three of them together only had one working brain cell that they all took turns into using like the creepy old hags in Hercules. The thought made him snort and distracted him for a hot second, before Wade focused on the task ahead of him again.

"Oh, I know! I know! It's because you're acting real shady right now. As shady as a tall tree in a sunny day. Or as a suspicious person doing suspicious things. Or a ninja. One of those three things."

His flawless intimidation tactic, however, didn't seem to work as Weasel just rolled his eyes unamused.

"It's because you're an asshole, that's why."

That's a fair point.

"So are you," he pointed out.

"I never denied it." Weasel glared back at him, not backing down, before he sighed. "Look, I swear on my nana's grave that I wasn't talking shit about you to your boyfriend, dude. Now can we please actually talk to the guy who's probably thinking we're ignoring him right now?"

For a moment, Wade almost did let go. He knew Bob was distracting Nate at the moment, but it was true they hadn't spoken in a while and the guy was bound to notice sooner or later. And truth be told, he was just being obnoxious for the sake of being obnoxious, regardless of how suspicious Weasel was acting— the other rarely stood his ground when he was guilty of something.

But…

Wade _was_ an asshole.

"Oh please, swear on something I can actually trust," he argued, poking Weasel in his chest knowing far too well the other hated it.

Weasel let out an even heavier sigh. "I swear on my League of Legends account, how about that?"

"If you're lying that means it's my account now."

"Great, perfect, that's fine by me."

"Awesome."

When Wade still kept staring at him instead of moving on, Weasel shared a look between him and his monitors before he seemed to suddenly light up, giving him a smile that promised trouble. "Hey, you know what, Wade? I'm about to do you a huge favor right now."

That shocked Wade out of his smugness almost instantly, but the other was already opening up skype and typing.

"Wait, what?"

"You're welcome by the way, not that you deserve it."

Wade ran to his own computer, worried now. "Wait, wait, hold on, asshole, what are you gonna do?!"

…

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:21 PM):  
 _And Weasel? How long has he and Wade known each other?_

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:22 PM):  
Oh ages, if you believe them!

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:22 PM):  
They change it whenever someone asks.

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:23 PM):  
I never actually got the real story from them tbh.

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:23 PM):  
 _I can see them doing that._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:24 PM):  
 _Where did they go anyway? They haven't said anything in a while._

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:25 PM):  
They're fighting again, I think

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:26 PM):  
I'm not actually sure

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:26 PM):  
But they do it a lot

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:26 PM):  
 _Hm._

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:31 PM):  
 _cables_

 _ **Bobert**_ (17:32 PM):  
Oh hey, Weasel's back!

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:32 PM):  
 _Yes?_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:33 PM):  
 _And Nathan is fine._

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:35 PM):  
 _tell me cables_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:35 PM):  
 _how will we know you are who you say_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:36 PM):  
 _how do we know youre not a catfisher or say a 86yo man secretly  
perving on todays youth online_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:37 PM):  
 _you dont even have a profile picture_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:38 PM):  
 _If you believe Wade, that's my new identity's dark secret._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:39 PM):  
 _But I suppose that's a fair question._

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:39 PM):  
 _it is_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:40 PM):  
 _I could always send a picture._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:42 PM):  
 _Though I feel like I should point out neither do you or Wade._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:45 PM):  
believe me when i say thats for ur own good

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:46 PM):  
weasel here wears bottle glasses and actually looks like a weasel,  
u dont wanna see him trust me

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:46 PM):  
 _shut the hell up pizza face im trying to do something here_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:47 PM):  
i'm just saying the truth weaz

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:48 PM):  
 _[You sent a picture.]_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:48 PM):  
 _I don't really take pictures of myself, but Neena took this one a  
couple of weeks ago when I wasn't paying attention._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:49 PM):  
 _It's the only recent one that looks decent._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:49 PM):  
omg

 _ **The Weasel**_ (17:50 PM):  
 _holy shit_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (17:50 PM):  
O M G

…

Wade jolted out of the computer chair, startling his friends with the sudden movement and noise though he barely seemed to notice either as he threw himself carelessly in the couch Bob was using— who, with a show of skill that he definitely didn't have and was 99.9% sheer luck, managed to pull his laptop away just in time to avoid collision as Wade plopped his head down on the pillow on his lap without a care in the world, hiding his face there.

He shared a look with Weasel— a look they both knew far too well, both trying to decide without words who would deal with Wade's… _Wadeness_ this time, before Weasel shrugged and went back at staring at his open skype in shock.

Bob sighed, knowing defeat when he saw it.

"You, uh… you alright there, Wade?" he asked uncertain, only getting an unintelligible mumble for an answer. Oh no.

That was never a good sign.

"Is there something wrong?" Bob tried again.

More mumbling, before Wade nodded, then paused and shook his head as he decided better only to nod again. Because that made sense.

Bob looked at Weasel again, trying to ask for help, though the other didn't seem to be paying attention as he just stared at Nathan's picture with a miserable look on his face and whispered something that could only be described as in horror that he could almost swear was 'he's bigger than three of me', though why that would matter to him Bob has no idea. Which, awesome. Just awesome.

Why were his friends so friggin' weird?

"No? Yes? Wade, please say something I have no idea what you're trying to say."

Wade sat up, just as suddenly as before and making Bob jump, before he flailed like crazy and continued a rant that never had an actual beginning, uncaring if Bob could follow his train of thought as he did. Now that was closer to familiar territory.

"— and he's never even said anything which should be illegal! I can't believe we've been talking this entire time and he! He looks like that!" He stopped, before his voice got even more high-pitched. "Oh my god, he's looked like that the entire time! We've talked and said things while that was his face! His actual face! This whole time! How?! You can't just— he can't just— illegal, I tell you! _Illegal!"_

Ah.

Nathan.

Wade continued, hiding his beet red scarred face into his hands. "He's just so—!"

"Hot?" Bob guessed, almost amused now.

Though Wade was barely paying attention to him and just nodded frantically. "Oh my god, he's so freaking hot!"

"And… that's a problem?"

"Yes!" Wade yelled, then he thought again. "No! I don't know, fuck off!"

"Hey, I'm just trying to help. So the guy you totally don't have a crush on is hot, how is that a problem? Isn't that a bonus?"

"He was supposed to be an old man! Or, I dunno, some weird skinny dude in law school!" Wade sighed miserably, before he continued a bit more calm. "And I was alright with that, I mean, with a face like mine what can I even say? But I was okay with it, I really was. Instead he's— he's fucking mister universe and perfect jawline over there, how is that even allowed?!"

Only Wade to make that sound bad.

"Alright, and…?"

Wade looked down at his hands, and all the amusement Bob was feeling a second ago vanished just like that.

"And I thought that maybe… I don't know. I thought I'd have a chance."

Oh.

Shit.

Bob looked desperately at Weasel again, trying to catch his eyes, knowing he needed help if he was to approach _that_ in any way without completely fucking up his friend even more. Luckily Weasel seemed to already be paying attention to them, and he pushed Wade far too gentle to sit next to him for someone that was pretending he'd rather be anywhere than here.

Somehow, having both of his best friends next to him only made Wade look even smaller and sad.

"It was stupid, I know, I should've learned by now," Wade kept going. "I mean he's probably straight anyway so who cares right? It probably doesn't even matter. But I thought…" He paused, before leaning his head on Bob's shoulder with a sigh. "I really like him."

Bob nodded. "We know."

"I mean, I _really_ like him."

"Yes, Wade, we got it," replied Weasel with his usual bluntness, though it was a bit softer than normal. "You want to hold his hand and kiss his stupid face and have ugly babies with him. We've known that from the beginning, Mr. Wade Winston Summers."

Wade scoffed lightly, giving Weasel an offended nudge.

"Oh, fuck off."

"You like-like himmmmm," Bob sang, trying to get some light back in his friend's eye.

"What, are we in middle-school again now?" asked Wade, though there was a little smile threatening to show. But it went away quickly. "The name doesn't even sound good, maybe that should've been my first clue it's not meant to be."

"Oh I don't know, you could hyphenate it," he tried halfheartedly. "Wilson-Summers. Summers-Wilson. Doesn't sound that bad."

"Hmm."

Weasel pipped in. "Just don't expect me to show up at your wedding, because I won't do it."

That made both Bob and Wade frown.

"Are you kidding me? You'll be my best maid, don't think for even a second you're running away from your duties," Wade argued almost offended at the thought of his best friend not showing up at his hypothetical wedding. Which was probably exactly Weasel's intention. "I already even picked your dress. It's red, because of course it is, and it will be so beautifully horrendous it will make Katherine Heigl roll over in her grave in pure jealousy!"

"She's still alive," said Bob without really caring about it, before he asked: "What about me?"

"Flower girl. Or ring bearer," came the response almost immediately. "I once saw on pinterest that someone had a pug be their ring bearer and you're the closest thing we have to one, so it'll be perfect. I can see it already."

Bob beamed, knowing that's the closest he'll get to a compliment and happy just to be included in the fantasy.

"I'm still not going, though the idea of giving an embarrassing speech is tempting."

"Please, you would never! I know your shames too, Weaz— and I remember a very specific one too, when you face planted in the middle of the dance floor at your bar mitzvah in front of what's-her-face. I have video evidence."

"You do _not,_ and her name was Clarice."

"See? Invite her to the wedding, then you won't be so alone and grumpy there," Wade decided simply, knowing fully well she moved away years ago and hated both of their guts. "Now all that will be missing will be the groom who probably will run away screaming once he lifts up the veil and sees this face. Now _that_ would be a memorable wedding. Take that, Kardashians."

"Aw, don't say that, Wade."

"What, Bob? It's true," said Wade now without a trace of humor. "Nobody expects their bride to be Freddy Krueger."

"Why are you so sure any of that will even matter to the guy anyway?" Weasel asked, just as serious. "I mean, you were okay with it when you thought he was going to be some weird-looking old perv, why can't he be alright with you looking like an overchewed piece of gum?"

Wade snorted.

"Uhh, because I'm me, while Natey there has the face of a model and those _arms_ and a probably also really hot ex-girlfriend which just screams high-standards? And, again, is probably straight which just makes this whole debate a moot point anyway?"

"Dude, trust me, that guy is not straight. No straight guy says 'I like hearing what you have to say' to their bros."

That made Wade stop.

"Huh, that was pretty gay, wasn't it?"

Bob nodded. "And he did defend your honor when he thought we were picking on you," he pointed out. "And sent you a heart emoji, and did one of your shitty typical Wade jokes, don't think we missed that."

Weasel waved his arms, as if to say 'there you go'.

"Exactly!" He pushed Wade out of the couch none too gently, ignoring his protests. "Now come on, stop freaking out and forcing me to care and go talk to your buff future-husband."

Wade gave them a dopey smile and fuck if the asshole didn't deserve to smile like that more times.

"He _is_ buff, isn't he?" he asked in a dreamy voice. "I wonder how tall he is, I couldn't see in the picture."

"Oh my god yes, Wade, he's huge," Weasel agreed with wide, horrified eyes behind his glasses, in a completely different tone from Wade's. "I'm never, ever, meeting him in person. Now go say something to him before he freaks out thinking that _you_ don't like his face."

Those were the magic words.

Wade yelped, running back to the computer in record time as he realized that they'd left Nate alone this entire time and making them all sigh in relief as they could finally relax and go back to what they were doing before, crisis finally averted.

…

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (17:53 PM):  
 _… That bad, huh?_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:10 PM):  
 _Wade?_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:21 PM):  
 _sorry about that_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:22 PM):  
 _wade was busy jerking off to your picture_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:22 PM):  
shut the fuck up weaz oh my god

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:23 PM):  
 _It's alright, my ego will heal._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:24 PM):  
 _Eventually._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:24 PM):  
SRSLY THO CABLE-MAN YOU SEXY FUCKER

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:25 PM):  
I HAVE NO WORDS

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:25 PM):  
AND IS THAT A HIGHLIGHT IN YOUR HAIR

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:26 PM):  
wow nate the 2000s called they want their trends back

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:27 PM):  
I like the white streak, it fits you!

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:28 PM):  
 _It's genetic, actually._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:28 PM):  
it fits the old man soul he has inside of him u mean

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:28 PM):  
what rlly? bullshit

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:29 PM):  
thats dope

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:30 PM):  
That's so cool!

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:31 PM):  
also natey we need to have a serious talk abt WHY THE HELL DIDNT  
U TELL ME U WERE SO FUCKING BUFF

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:32 PM):  
 _I didn't really think it was that important?_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:32 PM):  
NATEY

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:33 PM):  
YOURE A GYM RAT

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:33 PM):  
my entire life is a lie i dont know how to cope with this information

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:34 PM):  
oh man you nagging me abt my health and energy drinks make so  
much more sense now

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:34 PM):  
 _fucking knew he was the reason why, youre so whipped_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:35 PM):  
oh shove it weaz

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:36 PM):  
 _They are unhealthy, Wade._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:36 PM):  
 _And barely._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:37 PM):  
 _I just keep in shape._

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:37 PM):  
 _thats bullshit and you know it_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:38 PM):  
 _I just like exercises and meditation. It helps clear my mind._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:39 PM):  
 _And jogging, it helps too._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:39 PM):  
 _Oh, and yoga._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:40 PM):  
 _Alright, I see your point now._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:40 PM):  
adjkhasbldhjka

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:40 PM):  
You're gonna give Wade a heart attack that way.

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:41 PM):  
YOGA

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:41 PM):  
now thats a mental image right there

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:41 PM):  
 _ugh_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:43 PM):  
 _if you send a winky face thats it im kicking you out of my house_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:44 PM):  
 _im not having you jerk off right next to me_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:44 PM):  
;)))

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:44 PM):  
 _get out_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:46 PM):  
 _You should try it one day._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:47 PM):  
what, jerking off?

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:47 PM):  
dont worry after this i will

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:49 PM):  
 _Yoga, Wade. Yoga._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:50 PM):  
 _It helps with both body and mind, and improves your balance,  
sleep quality and flexibility._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:51 PM):  
oh god

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:51 PM):  
 _:-)_

 _[_ _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ _Changed The Name Of The Groupchat To: 'Yoga Appreciators'.]_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:53 PM):  
 _dont just group us with you freaks_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:54 PM):  
 _bob and i are fine being sedentary thank you very much_

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:55 PM):  
Maybe I should start going to the gym…

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:55 PM):  
 _Maybe you should, yeah._

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:55 PM):  
 _traitor_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:56 PM):  
 _id pay to see you do that bob. id pay you._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:57 PM):  
first of all no you wouldnt dont lie weasel

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:57 PM):  
we're all broke here

 _ **Bobert**_ (18:58 PM):  
True.

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (18:58 PM):  
 _Lol._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (18:59 PM):  
that being said lmao i bet he wouldnt last a minute

 _ **The Weasel**_ (18:59 PM):  
 _oh please_

 _ **The Weasel**_ (19:00 PM):  
 _he wouldnt even go inside hed get too intimidated_

 _ **Bobert**_ (19:01 PM):  
Sad thing is you two are probably right

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:02 PM):  
we know u too well bobs dont ever forget that

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:05 PM):  
 _So does that mean you'll try yoga, Wade?_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:06 PM):  
LMAO

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:06 PM):  
n

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:07 PM):  
im an appreciator!

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:08 PM):  
i will just appreciate it while u do the downward dog

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:08 PM):  
 _I don't know what else I expected._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:09 PM):  
honestly i dont either u should know me better than that natey

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:10 PM):  
 _At least I tried._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:10 PM):  
that you did

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:11 PM):  
please tell me u wear leggings

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:11 PM):  
oh wait no short shorts

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:11 PM):  
pls say short shorts

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:13 PM):  
 _I'm sorry to disappoint, I just use normal jogger pants._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:13 PM):  
boring

 _ **The Weasel**_ (19:14 PM):  
 _you just broke wades heart_

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:14 PM):  
 _Well, in that case._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:15 PM):  
 _I do, however, usually do it shirtless._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:15 PM):  
 _Is that better?_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:16 PM):  
much better thank you

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:17 PM):  
 _Always happy to help._

 _[_ _ **The Weasel**_ _Changed The Name Of The Groupchat To: 'get a room'.]_

 _[_ _ **Bobert**_ _Changed The Name Of The Groupchat To: 'get a room (not this one tho)'.]_

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:19 PM):  
;)

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:20 PM):  
 _;-)_

 _ **Bobert**_ (19:20 PM):  
God

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:21 PM):  
i KNOW i told him abt the nose already

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:21 PM):  
grounds for a divorce, i tell you

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:22 PM):  
 _We're already divorced, Wade._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:22 PM):  
oh yeah

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:23 PM):  
 _Can't believe you forgot it._

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:24 PM):  
 _I thought we had something special._

 _ **The Weasel**_ (19:24 PM):  
 _i hate every single one of you_

 _ **Bobert**_ (19:25 PM):  
No you don't.

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:25 PM):  
nah you dont

 _ **Nathan Summers**_ (19:25 PM):  
 _No, you don't._

 _ **Merc_With_A_Mouth**_ (19:25 PM):  
JINX

 _ **The Weasel**_ (19:26 PM):  
 _ugh_


	14. Chapter Eleven

_[You invited_ _ **DeadpoolSenpai**_ _to private messaging.]_

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I hope you know you're a terrible influence._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** o?

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** is someone upset bc he stayed up past his bedtime playin w his new guild?

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** are u grumpy bc u couldnt take a nap, grandpa? :(

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I was barely able to stay awake during class today, had to bullshit my way through most of it._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _This is all your fault._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** and yet here u are online again.

 **[TheMessiah]:** _And yet here I am._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** poor natey

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** welcome to the club

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** we meet every sunday by the on fire garbage can

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Thanks, I've never felt more at home._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but hey, at least youre a lawyer

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** isnt bullshitting what ur supposed to be learning there anyway?

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I mean. You're not wrong._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Honestly, I thought I had learnt my lesson, but I barely felt the time go by playing with you guys yesterday. It was fun._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I should've known better than to think I'd be able to resist temptation though._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _It's never just one more quest._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** thats what the coffee + monster combo is there for

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** it saves lives babey

 **[TheMessiah]:** _It gives me a heart attack just from hearing about it, that's what it does._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _My body's a temple. I would never drink it, and neither should you, Wade. That's bad for you._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _As a matter of fact, neither should literally anyone ever. It's a monstrosity._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but thats boring

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Tough shit._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Neena did that once before an exam and I was never more scared both for and of someone before in my life._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** ok we stan an icon

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** that girl sure knows how to win my heart

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Should I be jealous?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** why, are u? ;)

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Maybe._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** awwwdont worry cable-man

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** youre the only one id ever divorce 3

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I bet you say that to all your ex-besties._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _But good to know._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _3_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** only the ones as pretty as u ;)

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Lol._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Now that's something I was never called before._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** what, pretty?

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** absurd

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** youre the prettiest lady ive ever met, priscilla

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Thank you, Wade. You always say the sweetest things._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _So do you want to do some dungeons or do you think we're ready for a raid?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** the boys aint here yet so dg it is i guess

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Alright then._

 _[_ _ **DeadpoolSenpai**_ _has invited you to a party.]_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i still cant believe u never told me u were hot

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** werent you supposed to be an old man what happened there bud

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i feel cheated now

 **[TheMessiah]:** _And here I thought it was what's on the inside that matters._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I did tell you I could pull off the mustache._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** u still really cant

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Rude._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _And I still can't believe Weasel managed to convince you to drink hot sauce yesterday._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** in my defense ur honor

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Still not a judge._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** he triple dog dared me natey whats a man supposed to do against that

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Not drink hot sauce?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** weak cable-man thats just weak

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** its a matter of PRINCIPLES

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** you cant just expect me to back down from a challenge like that

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** who am i, bob?

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Honestly… that's fair argument._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** godi cant believe yall know each other now

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** it feels weird that its no longer just the two of us

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Don't worry Wade, you'll always be my favorite one._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** ill tell them u said that

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Of course you will._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Though to be fair, I already knew a lot about the two from your stories._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** n theyre just as awful as described

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** nah theyre great, i dont kno where id be without those guys

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** just dont tell them i said that

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** itd go to their heads yknow

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Of course. It'll be our secret._

 _[Your group is ready to play.]_

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Now come on, let's kick some ass._

…

 _[_ _ **Penetraitor**_ _is now online.]_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** oh hey weaz is on

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Really? I don't see anything._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I think I forgot to add him to my friends list yesterday._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** did u add bob

 **[TheMessiah]:** … _Yes._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** LOL

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Please don't tell him._

…

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _what are you losers up to_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** just finished a dg hbu

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _destroyed a few 13yos on overwatch_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** nice

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _Hey, Weasel._

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _sup_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _wheres the rest of the circus lets do a raid_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** idk where bobert is he isnt on

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** but sure

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _he is on skype_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** weird

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _let me call him his presence isnt optional_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _cables?_

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _Sure, I can probably stay awake for a raid if it's a quick one._

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** oh yea weaz the grandpa here is still awake from yesterday

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _welcome to the club_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _sleep is for the weak anyway_

…

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** dont worry natey i wont tell weaz u totes forgot abt him but remembered bob

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Shit._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Now why is it that I don't trust you when you say that?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** probs bc youre a smart boy n kno me too well

 **[TheMessiah]:** _That's probably it, yeah._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** :)

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I'm doomed._

…

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _didnt you have class this morning_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _why didnt you just sleep there like a normal person_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** bc hes a nerd

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _Because I don't want to fall my classes?_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** see

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _Sometimes I worry about all of you._

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** lol

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _youre probably right to_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _ive seen this dumbass once eat a bagel he found in the garbage_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** WEAZ

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _I'm not surprised._

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** FUCK YOU

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** no shame i was hungry and it was still good

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _it was stale and it happened multiple times_

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _Was the trash can at least empty when you found it?_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** yes

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _no_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** this is why nate didnt add u to his friends list weaz

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _what_

…

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Wade._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** whoopsies

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Wade._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Literally not even one minute._

…

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i said what i said

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _No, it's not. I just forgot to do it yesterday._

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** dont lie to him nate

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _It was an accident._

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _i dont… really care?_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _its chill dude_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** u will once u learn he added bob

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _Wade, what the fuck._

…

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** sowwy

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Perish._

…

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _wow ok_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _now thats blow on my self esteem right there_

 _[_ _ **AgentOfHydra**_ _is now online.]_

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _I'm sorry._

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** are you

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** are you rlly

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Why are you sorry?

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _for stabbing me in the back_

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** What the hell did i miss

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _Not really, no._

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Wow

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** w o w

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _WOW_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** thatsjust coldblooded, nate

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _That's life._

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _I hope you know my favorite one is now Bob._

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _i knew it_

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** :D!

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** NATEY

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _I said what I said._

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** bobert how fuckin dare u

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** D:

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** I didn't even do anything!

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i will have my revenge

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** get ready

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _rip bob_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** rip

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** But I didn't do anything, I'm innocent!

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Nate, help me!

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _R.I.P._

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Nathan!

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _you shouldve known better than to trust him bob_

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** :(

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _I can't believe Bob is dead now. He will be missed._

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** no he wont

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _lol_

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** WHAT DID I DO

…

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** please say u were joking

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** blease

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** natey

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** natey dont ignore me

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** plz say sike

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Sorry I was talking with my new ex-bestie Bob._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _What is it?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** cable-manim gonna cRY

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Don't cry._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Sorry, sorry. I'm just joking._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** GOOD

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** dont scare me like that

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** weaz id maybe understand but bob? thats just a low blow

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Lol. Poor Bob._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** so im still ur favorite?

 **[TheMessiah]:** _You'll always be my favorite, Wade._

 **[TheMessiah]:** _I don't think Bob can pull off the catgirl character like you._

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** urdamn right he cant

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Will you call off your revenge on him then?_

 **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** nah

 **[TheMessiah]:** _Well, I tried._

…

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** I can't believe I logged just for this

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** This is bullying

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** SPEAKING OF WHICH

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** where the hell were u today

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _You didn't miss much, just some dungeons._

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _and me getting backstabbed_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** u backstabbed me first you asshole dont act innocent now

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** u DESERVED it

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _Alright, a lot happened actually._

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** so?

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Oh

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Uhhhh

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _let me guess_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _alli?_

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** No, we'll see each other tomorrow. Date night.

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** You know, to make up for the one you guys ruined. Again.

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** _lol she still mad?_

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Yes, she's still mad!

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Thanks for that by the way

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _no problem buddy_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** youre welcome

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** wait thenwhy werent u on

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** I was playing stardew valley, mostly.

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** how is that more important than ur friends

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Please, you were playing with Nate

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** I doubt you even noticed i wasn't online

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** im hurt bobby

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** of course i did

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** nobody died in the dg

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Wow

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Honestly, I just didn't want to be a third wheel

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _understandable_

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _What do you mean?_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** … bob

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Oh shit

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _oh shit_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** run.

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Ok, that's fair this time.

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _rip_

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _R.I.P. Bob._

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _It was nice knowing you._

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Thanks

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Please tell my grandma i love her

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** i need better friends

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _i just wanted to do one fucking raid like a normal guild_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _just one_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _is that too much to ask_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** honestly yea

[Guild] **[TheMessiah]:** _In this Guild? Please._

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Be more realistic next time, Weasel

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _shut up bob dead men cant talk_

[Guild] **[AgentOfHydra]:** Sebastian wouldn't treat me like this

 _[Your group is ready to play.]_

[Guild] [Leader] **[Penetraitor]:** _THERE WE GO_

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** finally

[Guild] **[DeadpoolSenpai]:** let's raid boys


End file.
